I want to die
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 (8:03 PM)
since a long time ago, i've thought about death and how scary it could be. i remember an aunt telling me once that "death is not scary. why should you be scared? it's like sleeping." that made me even more fearful of death. i imagined myself sleeping forever. the thought scares me. it still does today. yes, it's true that being in a permanent sleeping state means that you won't even realise it. that's what scares me. now that i'm conscious, i cannot imagine myself being without senses forever. for the rest of time. i don't know if there is reincarnation or life after death but being in a permanent sleep state is frightening. not knowing, not existing, not having consciousness... for... ever.
recently i read a book called "the compass". one page talked about life expectancy. it says that we all expect to live longer than the average life span as if we've been granted a manual that says we'll live past a certain age. but that really isn't the case. it somehow led me to think about living forever, which i've always wanted. i keep imagining that one day, scientists will think of ways to keep all of us alive forever. although there will be population problem but that aside, some days ago, i've began to imagine what it'd be like if i do live forever. imagine doing what i am doing now, again and again and again and again and again... with no end.
it makes me want to throw up. makes me sick of it. this made me realise that life is like fine dining. you take a sliver of it and you love it to the max, you crave for more. but that's where you should stop and wait for the next time. because if you keep eating and eating and eating in large portions, you'll get sick of it. it won't be tasty anymore. you'll want to eat something else. and that's why i've come to the conclusion that, given a choice to live forever or die someday, i think i want to die... someday.
not now.
the power of the mind
Thursday, July 16, 2009 (9:21 PM)
they say keep telling yourself the same thing over and over again and your mind registers it as the truth. hypnosis works the same way. repeat the same thing over and over again and people's minds registers it as the truth.
don't ask me who "they" refers to. they = they = they. not 家楼下的三姑六婆.
the bad times are looming over my office because of a b******. oh fuck political correctness. that bastard! now that i can't express myself freely in facebook, because my managing director's super cute and smart 8-year-old daughter is in my friend's list, i shall be more crude here for this entry.
but the good part is arriving because i'll be going all over the place!
for interested stalkers, i'll be at batam this weekend for 2 days, japan in august for 2 weeks and thailand for the whole of september! woots~
i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart.
ナオミ liu
Wednesday, July 08, 2009 (9:34 PM)
by now, many people would've probably heard or read of this girl. the lingerie model who won the best modeling blog award. why, i wouldn't doubt the result. in fact, when i first read about it in the papers, i went to omy to check out the 25 year old and her competitors. she wins hands down.
just the photos alone are enough reasons to keep visitors going to her blog. nevermind the content. a sweet chick occasionally in lingerie versus all else boring. you tell me. honestly, i didn't read the content of her competitors'. afterall, it's a modeling blog contest, who really cares about the content? how do you even write modeling? i admit i've visited her blog page a number of times but true to the nature of a modeling blog, there's zero content and it's getting really boring and a waste of time.
i am mr. tan
Sunday, July 05, 2009 (12:59 PM)
some weeks ago, i received a call from a travelling company whose name thou shalt not know. anyway, the lady said her name was grace and this was how the conversation went.
grace: hi, i am calling from ** *****, we are a travelling company. is it ok to do a short survey with you?
me: sorry? may i know where did you get my number from?
grace: oh, i am calling from ** *****, and i got your number from my management and i called at random.
that was it. when i heard the word 'random' i decided to give random answers too.
me: oh i see.
grace: so may i do a short survey with you? it's only 5 minutes.
me: ok sure.
grace: ok may i know what are you working as? just the job title will do.
me: i'm a sales executive.
grace: oh. sales... selling what? insurance, automobile or what?
me: er... services.
grace: oh servicing ah...
me: er... serv... ya.
grace: then how about your wife? is she working or is she a housewife?
me: er... she's a housewife.
grace: oh so may i know how much you make a month?
me: huh?
grace: er... is it above $2k or above $3k or above $5k?
me: above $2k
grace: ok one last question. what is your name? just the surname will do.
me: oh, tan.
grace: mr. tan is it?
me: yup!
grace: ok thank you so much mr. tan.
a week later, i received a call from another lady from the same company looking for mr. tan. i almost said "wrong number" until i remembered my alter-ego so i said "speaking". and the rest of the conversation was about getting free stuff which i obviously declined. =)