becoming an ass
Saturday, July 29, 2006 (10:58 AM)
a little word of wisdom courtesy of ben and jean po.
never assume. it makes an ass of u and me
-ben
the generalities of gossips are usually accurate but the details are usually wrong.
- jean po
some people don't really care what the details are, they just complete stories their own way and even worse, by trying to cover up for one person, they get everyone into trouble. wake up your fucking ideas gossipmongers...
mary had a little lamb
Thursday, July 27, 2006 (9:20 PM)
ever wondered if this nursery rhyme is telling a christian story?
mary had a little lamb = mother mary gave birth to jesus
makes sense?
mary = mother mary
had = gave birth to
a little lamb = jesus, lamb of god
i'll ask again... makes sense?
time takes its toll
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 (11:29 PM)
it's not about me getting tired easily, being hard of hearing, locked knees, backaches or joint pains though these really sum up a lot of my problems.
but i noticed that when i say something and people misunderstand, misinterprete or do not understand, i tend to just let things be without bothering to explain. i'm just tired of explaining for reasons i don't really understand. maybe i'm just exhausted with the kind of energy needed to counter the i-refuse-to-believe-you response. sometimes even when i don't mean any harm in what i say, but which when interpreted wrongly might sound not nice and people choose to take the negative meaning, i just do nothing about it. i recall my defensive past and it's not really nice being that defensive about everything. sometimes, it becomes like egoism and holier-than-thou kind of appearance i seem to present. so after some time, i realised that it is ok to be the bulk of the joke sometimes rather than making others the joke. then as it drags on, i get clouded into thinking accepting every misunderstanding is ok. i don't always have to explain and win. this is bad news...
then people start to think that i'm weird. sometimes i just can't be comfortable with people especially when i don't know them for a long time. it's only when i'm with friends whom i've known a long time, at least for 4-5 years, that i can totally be myself and do all those crazy crap. occasionally, some amazing people are able to make me comfortable with them at the first meeting, but how often do these people come along?
stagnation
Saturday, July 22, 2006 (2:41 PM)
sometimes, when i think back on secondary school days or even poly days, i feel that i'm 83.
not '83 but 83. get it?
when you get past school life, especially for poly students, after graduation, it doesn't seem to matter much whether you are continuing education or not. the main thing is, most, if not all your friends will be working then the time to hang out and play gets lesser and more difficult since late nights are tough on the body of the regular salaryman. you wouldn't want to doze off at work.
erin was asking me if i do go out after work. then i think back... i don't. the last time i did was for preparation for the performance at the singapore soka association's event. and before that, i met up with bryan on a weekend to eat at sakae sushi. sounds like relax? but it was still for work. where have my friends gone?
most are working and it's tiring to go out after work especially when we don't stay that near to each other. since 13, i've been schooling in tampines for the next 7 years. most of my friends stay in that region. it's not that far from my place seriously but it's kinda hectic to be going out like 3 times a week after work to meet up. or is my body getting more unable to tahan late nights? i wouldn't mind meeting up once a week but sometimes i'm really worn out after work.
i used to try to save every little i can manage. in poly, my cashflow was down to the bare minimum. having 3 digits in my account was nothing rare. those 3 digits include the 2 following the decimal point. i've tried living on my own savings for one semester in my first year and by the end of the semester, i was out dry. then i cut down on eating (which explains my size), cut down on clothes (which explains my malfunctioning wardrobe), cut down on contact lenses (which explains my infected eyes), cut down on leisure (which explains my few going-outs and ignorance of fun places).
but by now, i'm not so tight with money anymore. i don't really know if it's due to tuesdays with morrie but i believe to some extent, it has a small impact in the way i think. and also, the loss of my maternal grandma played another portion. i can't tell what else has affected me this way but suddenly, money isn't that important to me now. sure it still is important but i've learnt that what matters most is being happy. sometimes sharing is really a kind of joy though i used to think sharity the elephant was cute but crap. sometimes i get to the most depressing pessimism that holding on to money you can't spend is pointless, but it's also logical. what happens if we just die the next day? my grandma was the healthy active lady at the age of 71. even when she visited the hospital for a checkup, she was still the clear-headed and joyful person. who would've expected her to leave us in less than 24 hours of her visit. not even herself. i don't wanna push the blame to anyone but the people in the hospital should know. and the one who is responsible should feel the guilt every time she puts on her white robe.
getting back, when life gets to this stage, everything seems to stagnate. but it's important to relish in the little joys we have. sometimes it doesn't hurt to go back and pass time like students on vacation. sure you have to save, but there's no need to scrimp. there's a reason why retail therapy exists.
a supporter's advice
Friday, July 21, 2006 (7:33 PM)
this time, the supporter is not about personality style but more of someone who is pretty supportive and someone i respect pretty much.
this morning when i arrived at raffles mrt, while going up the escalator, hanling's words flashed in my mind again. of course it'd be great if we are appreciated but sometimes it doesn't really matter if we aren't. most importantly, we must 对得起自己. as long as i do my part, that's all that matters.
yusma's been great today. i was jokingly telling her that i am supposed to be in the finance team so i should get the team award and she actually went to yvonne to tell her that i am indeed part of her team. in the end, i am given 0.5 day off and a free dinner. suddenly i feel kinda awkward about it since the team won due to list researching when i didn't make a single contribution to it. shucks... sometimes i should know when to hold back on my comments. of course it isn't a bad thing either. =)
a supporter's thought
Thursday, July 20, 2006 (9:42 PM)
sometimes i think back about the personality styles workshop i attended and as ridiculous as it sounds, the 6 billion population is divided into 4 major personality types. i'm not going to go through all of them but being of "supporter" style - which is not exactly what the name implies - i'm really one who seeks pleasure in recognition. then again, who doesn't? so this analysis isn't that much of an analysis after all, maybe. but having worked for almost 3 months with my current company, i feel that i'm not adding value to the company. at times, i feel outcasted since everyone else is doing list researching.
sure, at times i do list researching but my main role is data-entry and as much as our department find displeasure in others' disrespect of database, they might themselves find data-entering a low-down job which doesn't add much value to the department. ultimately, they might have thought twice about hiring another data-entry personnel again.
whenever i am asked to do list researching, as nerve-wrecking as it might get, i'm really alright with it despite that i always joke about leaving the company on the day that i hear i'm going to make phone calls or that i'll teach non-chinese-speaking colleagues mandarin so that they can do the calling instead. sometimes, i just wanna let loose, be more of myself, the crappy nonsense who pokes fun at anything possible. mixing with my colleagues well would do great and they are a lot of fun people to be with. but sometimes, people may take my joke too seriously, especially when i talk about it too often and then the manager starts to think that i may be serious about my dislike for calling.
to be honest, i really don't like calling and everyone else in the department doesn't like it either. who does? but as a job, we'll do it. next week, i'll be doing some de-duplication process and should be calling overseas again. wish me luck...
whenever i get a list to enter, i try my best to do it in the shortest time possible. in the first 2 months, whenever i finish an assignment, i didn't tell anyone. i just thought they would look into my assignment completion list and copy it out when it's completed - that's what the list is for, isn't it? - but nope. so my folder gets crowded and crowded until one fine day, i realised it had to be copied to the respective researcher's folder or inform one of them about the completion. so fine, that ain't so hard...
then i get more lists and an unbelievably long one that the others on queue were put on hold by it. the senior researchers look urgent about the ones following, so in order to make sure i get it done quick, i emailed the file to my mailbox and took note of the url with the contents to be entered. over the weekend, i did my job at home and sent the updated copy to my mailbox so as to retrieve in the company. but who knew?
yusma asked me recently if i am ok to stay back for overtime to do more data-entries. i thought about it a while and came up with the conclusion that i wouldn't want to stay there after work. if anything, i'd rather take the work home to do them, even if i'm not paid for this kind of "overtime" work. i didn't say it and decided i'll just reject this overtime request.
i appreciate it when trudy asked me to go back to epson to work during my holidays. today an account took place, i felt unappreciated but that's the thing when it comes to adhoc duties. no one cares although it's something everyone says they want to do since it's simple and pays the same but do people really want to do it? when it comes to actually doing it, even eka feels that it is some unrespected low-down job, opening mailers, handling return mails.
no appreciation for my effort? fine. even if someday, maybe on my last day of work, people say they appreciate my work, it does feel good. doesn't really matter if they mean it. that's the sorrow of a supporter.
but i cannot deny the people in the company were a great lot of fun. thanks for the experience.
多想
Sunday, July 16, 2006 (1:17 AM)
i've been having lots of thoughts recently, that's why even though i'm dead tired, i don't really feel like sleeping.
-out-
speed of light
Friday, July 14, 2006 (10:23 PM)
after having this much fun for the past 2 weeks and today, i suddenly feel the discomfort of leaving my company and my colleagues in another 2 weeks' time. if anything, time is the one thing that travels faster than the speed of light. it doesn't sound right in any way since speed is measured on time, but you get what i mean.
we went bowling again today and again, it was great fun. this time, we played 3 games. we didn't fare too well in the first. but when liam announced that the winner of the men's and women's 2nd game will officially report to work an hour later, zen and kell's score went soaring. from a mere 49 in the first game, zen managed a 120+ for the 2nd. that's almost 3 times her previous score and kell hit a turkey. see the power of time-off...
i still didn't manage to do too well in the 2nd game. thankfully, liam asked if everyone is game for one more round. the competition and reward stands. this time, i managed to hit a 137 despite a frame that went down in gutters. i almost took a shock when parsath, trailing by 20, hit a spare in the last frame and his score went up to 127. last ball for him and he had to hit a strike to level my score and he actually managed it under the pressure. then i went, "oh, then both of us come in 1 hour late" and liam agreed gamely. but for parsath, doing sales, he would be at a disadvantage if he reported late so he is given 2 hours lunch time. beverly, the birthday girl also won the last round and will be reporting in late. for someone who is bowling for the first time, she did fantastically well. kartik lost out to liam for the 2nd game by a mere 2 pins. wasted. he could've gotten the off.
following that, we went for dinner at siam kitchen. the food was ok but everyone had fun chatting, making jokes, including evil ones but it was fun. at the end of the dinner, a laser message at the fountain of wealth - world's largest fountain - greeted beverly and parvin a happy birthday and we sang songs and such. some of the messages before ours were pretty erm... weird... i still can't figure out why would anyone be called "tudbird"
total body workout
Saturday, July 08, 2006 (11:42 PM)
wow! this has been an amazing week!
after bowling yesterday, i went cable-skiing with guang today. again, it was enormous fun. we started off with the kneelboard. went for approximately 5 rounds, then switched to double ski. double ski was the easiest for me, probably due to it's similarity to roller-blading. after around 5 rounds, switched to wakeboard. it was the most difficult, probably coz it resembled skateboarding more.
got to know this girl who is pretty much a regular boarder and she gave me some tips on taking off (not my clothes). then i finally got the hang of it, albeit not all of it, but i did manage to go close to the first bend. went to lincoln's party and got to know yoshie, a girl from 京都の隣. haha... she was pretty cute and funny. ayuka kept saying "it's not 京都の隣."
tiring but fun day. that makes me think twice about getting my fender. i'm thinking of putting that sum of money into wakeboarding now.
best news of the day - someone dear seems to be getting better. yeah baby yeah!!!
-out-
when an aussie meets singapore taxi driver
(10:24 AM)
i was telling jolin about my boss and the cab driver yesterday and she thought i should post it here.
boss: wow, $5 extra!
driver: no, $6.
boss: $6!?
driver: ya. $4 booking, $1 cbd, $1 peak.
boss: that's expensive isn't it?
driver: you get down and try getting a cab without booking at this time. then you all go take bus and mrt. then bus and mrt increase price. then in the end might as well all drive because all so expensive already.
julie: how come price increase but still so little taxis ah?
driver: because (something i couldn't remember)
me: because demand exceed supply ah, that's why price increase.
julie: wa, economics student.
(just to clarify, i know nuts about economics)
-after some time-
driver: actually it's very near. you just cross the road and jog a bit and you can reach. why take a cab?
boss: what? it's that near?
driver: ya. just have to jog. or you want to get down here? but you still have to pay $8.30. not worth it la.
boss: then how are you going to make money?
driver: nevermind la. got other people call one.
boss: why not you drive us back there, we'll walk over and not pay you.
driver: can. then i'll press the red button here to call the police.
boss: oh, you got a red button over there? wow, to call the police? really?
driver: ya. i even got mr bean's seat and i can eject you out of here.
- boss stunned -
-driver uses the auto-door control to open the back door-
-3 of us at the back stunned-
driver: ah... you see? don't play play ah.
me: haha... for a moment i thought why yusma keep opening the door.
julie: ya *laugh until cannot talk*
driver (looking at yusma via the rearview mirror): you from saudi arabia? ya. you look like you from saudi arabia.
-yusma stunned and speaks to julie in malay about the saudi arabia comment (coz driver chinese so might not understand malay)-
-3 of us at the back ignores the 2 jokers in front-
me: oh, you understand malay?
julie: ya.
me: are you a malaysian?
julie: ya, that's the advantage.
me: ya they usually know how to speak 3 languages.
-boss starts poking the coins and a buddha statue on the dashboard-
boss: wow. weird.
- driver pointing at an australian coin-
driver: look. australia.
boss: yeah. that's (something i can't make out)
driver: limited edition.
boss: yeah.
driver: anzac australia.
boss: new zealand.
driver: australia.
boss: new zealand.
driver: no, anzac is australia right.
boss: anzac is australia and new zealand.
-approaching destination-
boss: we're going victor's bowl right?
driver: ya, but victor die already.
boss: who's victor?
driver: he die already but name still maintain.
-boss confused-
julie: victor is the boss of victor's superbowl.
driver: ya, he die already then his partner alex took over. he lucky guy.
boss: alex? who's that? you are confusing me.
driver: victor die a few years ago then alex keep the name.
-after some time-
driver: (some gibberish crap)
all of us: wha... ¿
driver: who got license here?
-julie raises her hand-
driver: you got ah? a lot of people don't know this.
julie: what?
driver: you know the license you got pay $50 every year right? the government take $20 revenue.
boss: what? you have to pay every year?
driver: ya. then now change to the hard card, pay one time $50 no need pay.
julie: what? i don't understand you.
driver: ya many people don't know. (then said something until now, i still don't know what he said)
-arrive at destination-
boss: is it here?
driver: ya. there victor's bowl.
boss: no, is it?
yusma: i thought it's the one in front.
driver: there, the staircase got write.
yusma: but it's so small. why not the one in front?
driver: in front is play billiard one.
boss: are you sure?
driver: ya. you want to (something i couldn't be bothered to listen as i was getting off)
best bowling session ever
Friday, July 07, 2006 (11:46 PM)
i was really reluctant to go bowling today as you can see from my previous post. but after the session, i really would regret it if i hadn't gone. it was a great deal of fun. and i got to know this really cool looking new girl from marketing, whom i was hoping to know since i saw her at the lift for the first time yesterday. i love her hair. stylish! though for some reason, she initially thought that i am younger than her and for some reason, she thinks that i am from nyp.
and also this other new demure girl whom i just saw today during company meeting and we happened to be using neighbour lanes. out of the 6 lanes, ours (team 1 & team 2) were the loudest, most active and noisiest but i believe also, the most fun. the other lanes were pretty quiet but we were like on a high. everyone's mood was great and cheering everyone else on. it was real great fun. our palms were red and throat sore by the time it ended but it was an amazing day which i didn't expect to be and the first time i hit past 120 for bowling.
so i got to know more people better through this outing and it was worth the money. $8 for this much fun and this many friends. nice! thankfully my team mates and the neighbouring lane were really fun people to be with. we ended up playing like a team instead. haha...
never knew bowling could be this fun...
from hard rock to versatality
Tuesday, July 04, 2006 (9:49 PM)
this coming friday, forced to go bowling with company. have to pay $8 some more. after work some more. at marina some more.
things work like this. we always have something to complain about. but i believe i've learnt something from this. leadership skills perhaps. our department has come up with a new policy. not a good move i must say. the new policy says for every 5 minutes you are late, you are fined 50cents. i'm not that worried since i'm always early but when something like that comes from someone who is not always early, it's a bad move. lost of respect.
then another higher authority frequently walks around and talks to people when he has nothing to do, which he appears to be most of the time. when a colleague stops for a brief moment to do something else, he calls across the room asking her to get back to work. bad move. lost of respect again.
the company policy says 'no slouching while at work'. reasonable policy but when a fellow colleague slouched at her seat, the wallaby kicked her chair so hard, she nearly fell off. bad move. lost of respect.
anyway, i'm more concerned about when i'm stopping work. on one hand, i wanna earn more. on the other, i wanna rest earlier. besides, cors bidding starts on 31st july. i wouldn't want anything to go wrong while i'm at work so i guess it's best to stop work on the 31st.
i've kinda decided to switch my ibanez for a fender. i've been talking about getting a new guitar for some time but i haven't done anything. mainly because i have no money but when i have it, i'd rather save it for something else. like now. i'm hesitant on getting the fender because it feels good to have cash in your account. i'm kinda sick of struggling to get by. the kind of life back in army.
but i guess i'll just spend the freelance project money which adds up to $600, plus the additional cash for my jul-aug work which adds up to $288 which would be more than enough for the strat. and hopefully the assignment work receipts get found. at least i'll get back like $110 the next month. if not, i'll only be paid like a miserable $50. not to forget, if i manage to sell my ibanez, i might get around $150-200. but even if the receipts really got lost, i guess i can't do much about it. things happen for a reason.
'cause god doesn't play dice...
lazy to go out...
Saturday, July 01, 2006 (4:09 PM)
after over a week of malaria-like symptoms, i'm finally almost alright. except for the mild flu and slight ear infection which is ok by now. i guess everyone's fine now.
i was kinda lazy to go swee lee's 50% sale today. after all, yiwen and leonard queued from like 8+am till afternoon before getting in. all of paul gilbert's signature model are gone by the time they stepped into the store but yiwen managed to get steve vai's jem-jr at $450. that's like so cheap. i don't really feel much pity since i don't think they have what i want. after struggling between squier strat and jem-jr for some time, yiwen decided to go vai. i think i'm gonna wait for the next ibanez sale or another swee lee year-end sale before getting anything.
i can't wait to go wakeboarding now that i'm all right but we've got to jam for the soka performance-cum-minor-competition tomorrow afternoon. i'm still trying to figure out if there's anyway i can go after the session. if not, then it'll be next saturday since lincoln's holding his birthday around that area, i can just go for my dinner after wakeboarding... woo hoo~
-out-