a stupid friend
Monday, September 29, 2008 (11:39 AM)
i want to defend my friend. the friend that another certain friend said was stupid or whichever word he used. to be honest, i felt offended for some reason. perhaps it was coz he repeatedly said that. perhaps it was coz he emphasized the word each time he repeated it. perhaps it was coz he so confidently assumed my friend didn't make the appropriate request by saying "i'm sure your friend didn't".
when i asked jx if he did request for examination on a different date for the other module that clashed with the one he's taking now, i was seriously hoping the answer was a yes. and the answer was indeed a yes. and he did make known he was graduating. so don't assume and call my friend stupid.
mainstream
Saturday, September 27, 2008 (12:19 PM)
The spotlights above made the glitters on the lipstick blinding. I twisted it open, aligned myself with the mirror and applied them with utmost care. It was what I depended on for a living. The gloss that glistened under the lightings always make me feel sexy especially when I pout. When the lipstick was done, I pursed my lips and pouted in the mirror. It was what I always did. I needed to tell myself "I'm sexy!" It always works.
I always become a confident woman behind the mask cosmetics create. It was like hiding beneath an invisible cloak, having full view of the terrain. I lock the crosshair at my target and fire. I feel powerful.
"Oh!" I noticed some skin colour on my cheeks. No, it's not rosy enough. I'm exposing too much of my true self. I couldn't bear the thought of having the slightest compromise to my cover. I picked up the brush and rapidly stroked it against my cheeks. "Ah! Perfect!"
I picked the most beautiful dress on the racks. One that could hide my figure. One that could create an illusory hourglass figure that I do not own. A few of the dresses made the cut and I couldn't decide. I picked up a few more and posed with them one-by-one in front of the full-length mirror. The more I looked at them, the more I couldn't decide. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and realised, other than the colour, they basically looked the same.
Yellow. I decided. I haven't donned myself in that colour in a long time. Being in this line, I figured I needed the attention. I matched the dress with a pair of shiny-red stilettoes and accentuated my height. Nevermind the poor colour combination. I needed the attention more than good fashion sense.
Sometimes, I feel lonely. No one seems to understand my work. I enjoy leading this double life but as much as I try to forget that loneliness, every now and then, it would hop off my left shoulder and tell me in my face "HEY! You're lonely!"
As the loud applause grew and ceased, I knew it was my turn. "I'm a woman" I told myself as I got ready for another night of cross-dressing performance.
机械越生活化，人类就越机械化
Sunday, September 21, 2008 (1:41 PM)
robots taking over the world is no science fiction. the only fiction is them coming alive.
as computers become more involved in our daily lives and enable us to do more with it than without it, reliance is born. we stop socializing in person. we start to do it with the machines.
with the barage of choices we have for communication, we appear to choose the asynchronous media more than the synchronous ones. calling someone for appointment is reduced to texting. which is why the telecom companies are offering more free smses for the heavy users of text.
i recall an incident back in poly when we had to get our project coordinator to take a look at our progress. he was in school. so were we. so i suggested calling him since we had his number. what's more, his office was at the same floor. we could always walk over. but my team mate decided to email him instead.
guang's boss is just two rooms away from his office but he finds it a chore to walk over to tell guang something, so he decided to use msn instead.
the internet draws people far away closer to one another. it also draws people close further apart.
网络把世界各地的人们拉近，也把亲近的人们拉远.
after some time, the human interaction is lost. the human touch is lost. everything is so machine that we unknowingly turn ourselves into what we originally created.
the robots don't need to come alive to take over the world. human has created its own demise.
the vulnerable powerful
Friday, September 12, 2008 (3:26 PM)
i was watching commander in chief and found it interesting how the most powerful person on earth - the president of usa - happens to be the most vulnerable person to the media and public.
is power and vulnerability proportionate?
what is money?
(2:40 PM)
i realised i have a very poor concept of money. i have no idea how much is enough for me to get a car, have a family or get married. all i know is i'll have to save as much as i can.
that's why i constantly ask people who have cars, how much they make. it's not because i wanna pry into the incomes of these people, but more like i wanna know how much i should be earning to be able to buy a car. i know people will say it depends on your lifestyle. how bout for someone single who spends $600 a month, how much should this person be making before s/he can afford a car of around $60k?
i recall a conversation with an insurance agent from manulife. she asked whether i save before i spend or spend before i save. generally, people who spend before they save are spendthrifts while those who save before they spend are good financial planners. i told her that due to my unstable income, the amount i can save is not fixed but i typically limit my spending to around $500/mth and save the rest. she decided that i am someone who spends before i save. i was like "huh? wouldn't that be saving more?"
then she told me "that's means you save around $200 a month..." i was like "huh? i make only $700 meh?" now would you consult someone like her for financial planning?
4:30am
Wednesday, September 10, 2008 (4:53 AM)
4:30am...
you must be thinking that i'm crazy to be online at this hour of the day. nope, i'm not crazy. i'm just hungry. so hungry, i couldn't get to sleep. i actually slept at 11pm last night but for some reason, woke up at 3+am and couldn't sleep since. so at 4:15am, i decided to make myself some instant noodles and do a bit of work. it's unhealthy to sleep immediately after eating, you know? though i don't really know how healthy it is to be eating at this time.
i'm getting a bit of headache from the lack of rest. *zzz*
i'm not working...
Sunday, September 07, 2008 (12:12 AM)
recently, i've been hearing that quite often. people tell me i am not working. the equation is simple.
freelance = not working
thinking about it, i think it's true to a good extent. but i see a common misunderstanding about freelance work. it's interesting. and for an unexplainable reason, the same idea i had of freelance work was shattered this year when i began this job. not just via my own experience but from a good many others'.
school life is fun. work life is more fun.
why the heck are you still in school?
obscene human
Saturday, September 06, 2008 (10:36 AM)
it's a wonder why cartoons in movies are the only ones rated "g" (general) while anything starring a human is rated at least "pg" (parental guidance).
what is it that is so obscene about a human that requires it be pg and what is it about a cartoon that makes it any less human?
maybe it's the kissing scenes. maybe we are really that obscene.
opportunity cost
Monday, September 01, 2008 (12:34 PM)
i've been thinking of getting a car but for what? i have no need to travel to work, i hardly go out and even rarer to a place where it's not easily accessible. it's like less than 5 times a month do i feel that i need a personal transportation, so getting it is pretty much wasting money.
when i think about the amount needed to feed a car, i realised that if i don't own a car, i can practically go overseas at least once every 2 months.
now, i'd rather go overseas. =)