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let's do the really outdated riddle...

q: what's the difference between mr. lonely and mr. freedom?
a: they are the same person!

well, i tried casting them as the devil and the halo guy but couldn't really figure who's who. somehow, loneliness became the devil and freedom became the angel. it's not like i dread my freedom but it seems that the 2 worlds we're caught in between are always mutually exclusive.

since the last time something ended, i've been breathing better. a lot better. and unfortunately, that has also made me dread starting another one. after months and years of freedom, i'm getting so used to it, i'm beginning to develop a phobia of being with another person. on the other hand, i would at times wonder what it'd be like to feel that way again. but the experience would always tell me, "no!" and then something would hop off my left shoulder and go, "hey! you're lonely!" and they fight.

but for some reason, it always ends in a draw and i know not what to do. mostly though, the levil wins and i stay where i am. i'm happy. or maybe i'm just escaping. some time ago, i heard this, "escapism is worse than making a bad decision".

but what if i've made the bad decision to escape?


it's funny how people use marriage and offsprings as premises for claims of heterosexuality...


studying is better.

the idea has been drilled so deeply into us, any attempt to extract it will only rip our guts along with it. but since my final semester, i was worn out. i grew sick of studying. writing arts papers felt like a junkie going through detox. not that i actually experienced it.

when i actually began working, i loved this life. other than the restricted amount of annual leave, work life is way better than school. i can go overseas when i feel like it. i can buy a bike on impulse, though i kinda regretted it, and i can eat as much as i want to. yes, that kinda explains my size. i was saving so much, i didn't eat enough. but i digress.

i enjoy not having to take allowances and still live ok. i enjoy not having to rely on anyone. i feel that people who refuse to step out of school are missing out on a ton of things. that may also be because i found a job i enjoy. which unfortunately, i may have to leave come end this year.

see you in japan... hopefully


for some time, i've been wondering who these people were and how they were related to john bongiovi or jon bon jovi. fuck americanism and commercialism.

tommy and gina appeared in two of bon jovi's tracks living on a prayer and it's my life. but interestingly, i've come to learn that the only reason why they appeared in the latter again was due to the previous song. it's kinda like writing a paper where you insert footnote when referencing another text. in this case, another song. so tommy and gina are not really real. just that it's my life referenced on how both of them fought for their love in the earlier song.

well, as for frank who "did it [his] way", that's good ol' sinatra.


it has been quite some time since i first heard that the chicken-and-egg question has been unscrambled.

the premise was that genetic material cannot change during an animal's life, hence, the egg presumably laid by a prehistoric animal went through genetic mutation as an embryo. that was where the chicken first appeared. some philosopher agreed and argued that if a kangaroo lays an egg where an ostrich hatches, then it would be an ostrich egg. not a kangaroo egg.

but i'd beg to differ. i don't think it has been solved yet. obviously, when we ask if the chicken or the egg came first, we aren't really referring to the chicken or its egg exclusively. what i comprehended is whether the egg came first or the life that lays it came first.

the supposed solution to the question only begs another question. so did the egg come first or the prehistoric animal come first?


this came really late. at least very late since the first time this silly thing started circulating, but the fact that it still is circulating prompted me to write something about it.

of course i'm not condemning people who wrote them but some statistics on the papers some time ago produced really shocking figures. since the 25 things started, millions of junk data have been circulating the internet. the amount of consumed bandwidth is quite staggering. on top of that, the amount of time spent crafting the 25 things was estimated to have wasted over 800,000 hours of productivity time assuming each person takes 10 minutes to complete it. and that's if i didn't remember the figures wrongly.

but targetting that alone is sillier because i believe people spend a lot more time crafting their blog entries than this one-time junk on facebook. and more often than not, blogs have a lot more data than the 25 things about oneself. and more often than not, blog entries are complete passages rather than short sentences.

truth be told, i don't really read them. and truth be told, i don't think i have that many things to write about myself that people want to know. interestingly, this 25 things thing made me realise, i'm not so interesting after all.

then again, i have more than 25 entries in this blog alone. that amounts to a good amount of time wasted on practising my writing skills and satisfying this insatiable display of narcissism. and now you've wasted a good amount of time reading this.

get back to work!


i'm beginning to see the idea behind the poor people don't know how to handle huge sum of money logic. because they don't know how to handle huge sum of money, that's why they are poor.

- lame -

no, that's not what i was trying to say.

the thing is, we are so used to having that little amount of money that we begin to think that it is ok to have that little because we are still surviving ok. not necessarily the comfortable life but ok. so if a large amount of money comes our way, we have the tendency to spend it all and leave ourselves with what little we originally started. because it had been ok. that explains how the guy who won the lottery spent over $300k within months.

when i was still in school, i've ever had like 25cents in my posb account. of course it didn't last long enough for me to get used to but i'm really used to having only a few hundred in my account. more often than not, i have only around $800, which i tried to limit myself to $300 because of the $2 penalty for accounts below $500. but i never manage to keep it that way. it's hard when you don't take allowances.

once during the holidays in uni, i worked for 3 months during the break and made around $2.5k. interestingly, i felt it was a comfortable level and that i could live comfortably during my uni days. i was too naive. it was gone 1 semester later. i think i am super financially illiterate.

so now, my idea of saving is to spend lesser. fortunately, i haven't really found good enough reasons for me to spend too much. except the japan trip next year. i think for the average student, what i have is enough for me to live comfortably but i still have the problem of not treating myself too well. i still scrimp.

when i see how people spend money to enjoy, i often wonder if i could do the same. if only i struck the lottery. the only problem is, i don't buy them. = =


one vietnamese bride grilled, cheese on the side, no upsize.

as if buying a marriage from bride agencies aren't commodifying women enough, diners club is now seeking to create a partnership with a particular vietnamese bride agency to allow "customers" to pay by credit card on interest free installment.

the "introduction fee" is just a verbally hygienic and legally compliant term for their illicit business of human trafficking. this is crazy. stop treating them like commodities!


chestnuts gave me an easier way to scold a very bad expletive.


chestnuts was a huge disappointment this year. it wasn't even half as funny as the one they did in 2008. or maybe i'm missing my funny bone. i just wasn't tickled as much as i was.

i have to admit that some of the stuff are still hilarious, like the series on mediacorp war films. that was before the interval and it was powerful. but the finale of the night was weak. and i can't emphasize "weak" enough. they just did a mundane and uninteresting alteration of avenue q's internet porn song.

i should've expected that when guang told me they did everything at the last minute. not so much the script but the actual sound recordings and effects. and i felt that they simply said "fuck" for the sake of saying it. not to forget the graphic descriptions of the genitalia and sex in every way possible.

interestingly though, the girl to my left was laughing really hard even when they weren't doing anything. talk about having one funny bone too many. maybe she stole mine. hmm...





$203 for a new pair of blades after n years. and for the first time in x years (where x > n), i no longer hear squeaking beneath my feet while blading. so smooth... but i kinda suspect the squeakings will come soon enough after like 5 over hours of blading. i've got blisters around my legs and on my left sole. i don't intend to wash them. i mean my blades.

yes, i gave in and spent over my self-imposed budget for this month. and i just recalled i'm supposed to treat my boss to lunch tomorrow. so i may be down to $5/day for the rest of the month. unless i don't eat too expensive stuff next friday with mich. but we'll see how. i can always cut down my budget next month.

procrastination at work again...

i intend to visit taiwan with satomi at the end of this year before flying off to study in japan. hopefully my plans don't get delayed again. the amount of money to be spent makes me hesitate. the thought of losing my current job makes me think twice. but there's only this life. i just wanna live while i'm alive.

it's my life.


janow i go jog to gym at hougang n den hor i go in de gym but den ah de muscle muscle guy tell me go downstair to pay first. so sianzzz. so i go downstair lor to pay. den ah i go up againz. lidat den i can use de gym lor.

i use de pull pull ting 20 min coz dey say max 20 min ma. so i use 20 min den change lor. den i use de cycle cycle ting 10 min bcoz really kenot tahan liao after jog dere. but i forget to say i reach dere hor, my head a bit painz liaoz bcoz so long no exercise liaoz. so sianzzz.

now i sit here tink tink dunno go east coast blade wif guang dey all anot. bcoz ah i kenot find my old rollerblade leh. i dun tink got throw away leh. dunno why kenot find also. n den ah i wan to give myself budget for this month ma. dowan spend so many money. so if i go buy rollerblade sure spend too much wan. i dowan.

now still dunno how. see how ba.

wow... i didn't realise it's not that easy to be typing like that. but content-wise, it's non-fiction. yes, i jogged to the gym and worked out today. i'm the biggest loser! woots~

as if i have any weight to lose.


an artiste's life is so controlled by the commercial world. zhang ziyi became ziyi zhang when she went into hollywood. lin chiling for no plausible reason became chiling lin. that's chilling.

and the worse victim is 金城武。he was known as aniki jin back in the days when japan wasn't as exciting. and when it did become a craze, his japanese name which should've been read as kinjou takeshi became kaneshiro takeshi maybe because the kaneshiro name sounded cooler. and to mock asian names even further, they decided to flip it over into takeshi kaneshiro.

- posted by documentsburied.blogspot.com -


i noticed that many people who don't usually watch a lot of movies tend to watch a lot more movies when they are attached.

and i also noticed that they don't watch movies they think are nice. they watch movies that fit into their schedule. that's it.

seems to me that these people watch movies because they have nothing better to do.



because in the cinema, you don't have to talk.

and after the show, you have one new topic to talk about.