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    peter pan
    Sunday, June 28, 2009 (11:17 AM)

    when i first heard the news of michael jackson's death, it felt so surreal i didn't have any thoughts or feelings about it. some days later - today, when i picked up the papers and read about him again, it felt like something was very wrong. no, i wasn't such a huge fan though i really admire his performances. i own 2 copies of his works.

    not really.

    one is an interview called "living with michael jackson". the other is "ghosts". i would love to have had a chance to catch his performance live when he was at his peak, but that wasn't much of my musical inclinations then.

    the emptiness and disbelief didn't stem from my position as a fan. as i've already established, i'm not a huge fan of his. but the magnitude and charm he exudes on stage as i recall on mtv awards some many years ago during his anniversary made me fall in love with his onstage charisma. it was a total different person. and it was amazing. kinda like the beyonce-sasha-fierce vibe except way greater. he created a musical world of his own. but one thing i still cannot imagine...

    how can the boy who refused to grow up die? how can the boy who lived in neverland die? how can peter pan die?

    as i think about it, it felt like he didn't live a very happy life. made to enter the entertainment industry at a tender age of 6, he fell victim to the monstrosity of the complex world of entertainment. he seemed to have had the best things but he also had his worse. kidnap, paedophilia, endangering the life of his child, nose job, fair skin... it is as though no part of his body has not been a victim of tabloid.

    he never knew what it was like to be normal. he never knew what it was like to have no cameras ambushing him everyday. less than 1/10th of his life anyway.

    so perhaps it is time he gets some rest...

    rest in peace, peter pan.