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    horoscope...
    Tuesday, January 13, 2009 (11:09 PM)

    as much as i'd hate to admit it, more often than not, i'm inclined to believe what the horoscopes say. or rather, what the astrologers say your horoscope says. it's pretty much like someone putting words in the signs' mouths except that they don't all have mouths and they can't really talk.

    i do not fall under the addict category yet and no, i don't need to join a horoscope anonymous. i don't check the net everyday or buy the papers or mags just to find out what the horoscope says. it simply doesn't make sense. but gradually, i realise i'm living a self-fulfilling prophecy. at least the negative ones. i follow the not necessarily good advice at times and i rejoice at the good prophecies which never come to fruition.

    after some time, the idea of freewill is lost. i'm not a christian but i trust in the concept of freewill. at times, i do believe in destiny. it's a complex issue about how it can be "at times". but disregarding the inconsistencies, destiny is what it is. it's a destination. which is probably why the importance of process is so often reiterated. yet, in the subconscious mind, something tells us it is bullshit - the destination is more important than the process. if by chance you succeed, you are successful. if after hard work you still fail, you're a failure. but the staunch believers of spirituality will beg to differ (and those who try to hard to console the failures but let's not talk about them here).

    success by chance is success in material and physical form while those who learn and grow via hard work are the true winners even if you fail.

    it's like when one attains nirvana, all things material will cease to be of importance. and when one is able to clear one's mind of all things material, one will attain nirvana. wow... i just made it into a chicken-and-egg problem.

    oddly, some weeks ago i heard on radio about fossils proving that the egg came first.

    and the chicken goes: what the fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck?