i quit...?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006 (5:08 PM)
i'm running low on steam. whenever we get to this phase, i always feel like giving up the degree and move on with a diploma to my name. but so many other people i know are quitting their jobs to go for a degree.
i knew i shouldn't have touched history modules - at all. i took it up and this is what happens. 2 papers, both c+. to be honest, i'm not so quite put off by the c+ grades since i know i suck at history. in fact, with the organization, or rather lack of it, i'm thankful that i got c+. but what's bringing my morale down are the comments my lecturer wrote. he is one man who doesn't cushion your butt before caning. one whip and he makes sure you are not going to sit on your ass for weeks.
first paper, the comments were to some level, discouraging but still alright. second paper, the comments of disappointment and frustration that he wrote of, that i made the same mistakes as with the first paper, that he thought i would improve after the first paper. but he didn't realise i submitted the second paper before getting back the first one.
if i can hang on to the c+ after the exams, i'll be real grateful but i suspect something is going to go wrong. take a look at my nice track record:
failed all history tests and exams in sec 1 except one minor test with borderline pass.
failed most history tests in sec 3. the remaining were all borderline passes.
failed all history assignments in my 3 months with tpjc.
then the same old question comes back - what is this blind pursue for a degree for? guang went on for a 2nd diploma. aaron went on for a 2nd diploma. for what? interest. what about me? degree, but so what? my purpose was to major in japanese studies so that i can apply for scholarship to japan for 1 year but now i am doing english major instead. we read of people dropping out of school and making it big so many times, but how many are willing to take the risk? what's more, i only have 3 more semesters to go, do i really want to drop out? $6000 gone to school fees. am i willing to give up without a fight? maybe i'm not...