i think i am

bestwrites

2010-03-16T14:16:00.002+08:00

bestwrites was launched some 2 weeks ago and based on the target, the sales figure should be at least 33.3 copies per day till the end of the year...

$23.90 for a year of writing guidance. what better deal is there? i think it's really worth the money if you compare it to their previous system of $20/mth.

a regular tuition costs approximately $200/mth. 12 months of tuition would be $2400. the amount of money saved is ridiculous...

experts on the streets

2009-11-26T08:24:00.004+08:00

i find it interesting a tendency for football fans to discuss the scene like they are the oracle. they know which club should hire which manager, which players the managers should line up for which game, and yes, they basically know everything that is required for the clubs to win matches.

i don't understand.

how can these people talk so brazenly, assume they know who made the right move and who didn't or which purchase is best for which club and not blush. it is thoroughly embarassing.

i am happy today because...

2009-11-24T21:02:00.003+08:00

i asked a number of people to complete the above sentence based on their snap response because i think we tend to not see things we can be happy about and keep focusing on things that make us unhappy but the fact is, there are a lot of things we can be happy about everyday.

below are the responses i received...

norahs
- i am at home

ali
- i watched csi

guang
- i am not unhappy

alvin
- i am not happy

elaine
- i feel valued in my school

wing sum
- i am not happy leh

hao
- i completed call of duty modern warfare 2

jas
- i am alive

suzy
- i know i have my people around me to rely on when times go bad

karen
- i'm home

meiki
- it is a fun day

jx
- I have not feel sad for very very long

ky
- tat u pop by n check on me

minmin
- lim jin han msn me.

wee teck
- this is a short week...2 more days to wkend!!

wanmei
- cos i had chocolates!!

liping
- becoz i am blessed with a complete doting fam

jianming
- i am alive

idah
- i finally bought my boots!! hahahaha

amos
- i saw the sign and it opened up my eyes

yiwen
- everything at work went smoothly

2 people said they weren't happy and 1 thanked me for asking that question 'cause "[she] needed that".

well, for me, i am happy today because i am alive and healthy. i am thankful that i am alive and do not require a machine to help me breathe or keep my heart beating. i do not need medications to keep me sane or needles in my body to clean my bloodstream. i do not need crutches to help me walk or prosthetic limbs to help me hold my cup. i do not need a walking stick or a hearing aid. i have many more things to be happy about... and that is why i will be happy everyday.

the end of seafood

2009-11-20T09:30:00.003+08:00

on a suspected case of food poisoning, i threw up 2-3 times, had multiple diarrheas, fever, cold shivers, giddiness, headache and what shit have you.

no more seafood for me.

the thought of it just makes me feel like throwing up.

of user-friendliness and road rage

2009-11-16T20:49:00.003+08:00

the first is a no-brainer. if you gotta get used to something, then it is not user-friendly. yes, those who say the mac is "user-friendly once you get used to it" is not thinking right. user-friendliness refers to something that can be used with ease at first try. so if you're finding ways to justify your love of the mac, refusing to acknowledge that you're just trying to be different by being the same as everyone else trying to be different, sorry, it's not working right.

as for road rage, i don't understand why it happens. i don't at all. what kind of gratification can one get out of quarreling with someone whether this other driver cut into your lane, snatched your parking lot or whatever. i simply don't see it. i think it is plain immature of people who feel the need or the urge to get out of their vehicles to quarrel or show the middle finger to other drivers. sure, you can get pissed but just move on and go find some other lot! it's no fucking big deal.

trivialising fun

2009-10-31T13:41:00.003+08:00

many-a-times when someone does something and people ask "why did you do that?" the answer goes, "just for fun."

"just" trivialises "fun".

we're way too uptight about being serious. relax and have some fun!

time heals shit

2009-10-31T13:29:00.004+08:00

time doesn't heal wounds at all. zero, zilch, nada.

when people say time heals all wounds, i find that patronising. it's relinquishing responsibility to allow yourself to heal and when you do that, you find that it takes a lot longer for you to heal than it actually should have.

it takes time to heal, but that does not mean time can heal. the only person who can allow you to heal is you. only you can choose to let yourself recover and when you do, you find that the time it takes is a lot shorter.

pressing issues

2009-10-27T10:14:00.006+08:00

october 27, 2009, law minister k shanmugam said "if it is said that someone is stupid... then you can't sue" effectively giving us the right to call anyone stupid, including minister mentor lee kwan yew. not that i think he is stupid. and more than for just political correctness, he is through-and-through a highly intellectual individual. but i digress. no less than what mr. shanmugam did.

the topic was on singapore's press freedom ranking by reporters without borders. and to tackle such "misperceptions among some Americans", which he claimed were at times "divorced from reality", he decided to argue with points that are totally irrelevant and, intentionally or unintentionally, mislead readers. and on his side, ironically, the press (today) made the same irrelevant point.

today talked about singapore being below guinea, "whose military junta of late was reported to have gunned down people and had women raped on the street." and mr. shanmugam himself said that we are now below kenya, "which saw riots following a disputed election." the above 2 examples relate to autocratic dictatorship which does not refer directly to press freedom. were the people gunned down and raped because of what they published in the papers? and what does a disputed election have to do with press freedom?

a look at the local press reveals a lot. just look at how the straits times publishes. there is as good as zero negative publicity on the government. look at the local broadcast media, they are extremely careful about jokes played on political figures, even for good harmless fun. and there is the recent forum with mr. lee. questioners were planted and questions vetted before the forum. and i totally agree with the guy who wrote in to the papers asking what the point of the forum is when you can't really ask what you want...

but truth be told, i am thankful and grateful for the safety and comfort we have here. though that has nothing to do with press freedom.

the necessity to mark-up prices

2009-10-24T15:49:00.003+08:00

it may have been the owners' greed backfiring. it may have been the tourists' paranoia at being ripped off. whatever it stemmed from, marking up prices has become necessary for the survival of the thais.

tourists now shop in thailand expecting to shave a significant amount off the quoted prices. it doesn't matter much the amount you quote in the beginning, what matters is how much you shave off the quoted prices. an item going for 1000 baht has to be quoted much higher. possibly at 1500 baht. and letting the buyers bargain till it hits a 1000 baht is a lot more gratifying for them than quoting 1000 baht to start with and refusing to cut it further.

it doesn't make sense but cutting prices and entertaining bargains have long become a form customer service.

officially in love with them

2009-10-24T14:00:00.001+08:00

a pair of very talented sisters...

i love sonia!

functions of the law

2009-10-20T09:03:00.002+08:00

we often turn to the law when attempts to create change fails. perhaps the law is the only source that can implement forced changes. or so we think.

i read in the papers today, a particular animal rights activist appealing for the law to make fur trading illegal. i didn't read the article in detail but the heading suggests that law is the only one that can stop fur trades. the truth is, the law changes nothing. at least not much.

making something illegal doesn't stop something from happening. it just makes it much less assessible and moves it from the open to the underground. such trades will go on regardless of the lawbooks because the demand is there and the rich will go through all means and ways to get it. the catch is, they don't have to do it themselves. they pay the hard-up-for-money to do it, and if they get caught, they'll just find someone else. just because something is made illegal doesn't mean people no longer have interest in them. and the fact that it's become illegal makes it even more elusive and charming. human behaviour works like this. and that it is no longer legal makes the prices go up. why wouldn't the already indifferent-to-animal-welfare traders be happier to deal in them?

it is much easier to control something that is legal than illegal.

the random guy i don't care about

2009-10-15T11:05:00.003+08:00

no one's gotten on my nerves but i find it interesting an inclination for people who get poked the slightest bit to rant a whole chunk of entry in their blog about it and finish with, "why should i care?" or "he's not worth my time".

well, guess what sister? he's made it to your blog.

we all try to act indifferent towards someone whom we know isn't worth our time and shouldn't care but the fact is, we still do one way or another. and it just makes us feel better spending time articulating it and then proudly announce to the world "we don't care". somehow, not caring sends you up the high road, at least that's what it seems. but frankly, as soon as you take the driver's seat to talk about it, it doesn't matter how it ends. you just sent yourself down the other way.

i do not disagree with such a behaviour because when i think about it, i probably did it as much if not more. it's therapeutic somehow. and if you're disturbed by this entry, go ahead and leave a comment. i'll just write the next entry about you and declare i don't actually care. you're just a waste of my time.

single standard

2009-10-12T15:35:00.002+08:00

i just saw an episode of law and order today and it had something to do with religion. a person holding a prominent position in a particular place of worship said, the essence of faith is to believe despite the absence of proof.

fair enough reasoning. but i often get challenged by a certain group of people to show proof of the existence of the higher being that i believe in. now what say you about this single standard? one that only applies to you?

tokyo sonata

2009-10-10T15:46:00.002+08:00

i haven't seen any movies for a while now, much less one from the picturehouse. i'm not so much a movies person but when a good movie and good company comes my way, i'll definitely catch it.

tokyo sonata is one rare jewel that runs for 122 mins yet feels like a 60 min show. not many good shows make time fly like that. i recall times in the theatres when i constantly check the time and wonder, "how come only 45 min passed... sheesh. another 45 min to go."

or something to that extent.

i loved the realness of sonata. as my companion said, it reflects the highly patriarchal japanese society incredibly well. the oddity of the family is way out of the ordinary - at least out of what is typically depicted in shows. but it felt real.

how many shows have you watched and whether or not you predicted the plot correctly, it just felt like another show? yes, i haven't watched a lot of shows but no matter how much i enjoyed the few favourites of mine, i always walk away feeling having watched just "another great movie."

sonata was an art. and i left the theatre feeling i just observed the life of a japanese family. the realness of the satirical humour played out so well, at times, i knew not if it was appropriate to laugh. it felt as if i had to be sensitive to the characters in the show and so i contained my laughter to a smile or a giggle.

the almost packed theatre surprised me. the night before, only 1 seat was booked. thankfully the companion booked it online that same night before. all-in-all, definitely a worthy show. i'm glad they ran it for over a month from 17th sept since i wasn't around to catch it then.

working or not...

2009-10-07T17:32:00.003+08:00

it's been three days since i returned from the 5-week long trip to thailand and i haven't gotten back into the momentum of being at work. the pace and speed of my work is still there but the kind of energy is missing. perhaps 'cause i haven't been sleeping enough in thailand. the intensive course took hours of my sleep away each night and after those times, i am worn but i loved every bit of it. ask me if i'll do it again if time turns back, i wouldn't bat an eyelid when i say "yes". no doubts, no hesitation. the course was great, the trainers were great and the fellow trainees were marvellous. there couldn't have been a better time to do this course.

the previous course had 9 trainees. 3 dropped out and 1 failed. the current batch has 18-19 of them having to do 9 training practices. three days into the course, they have 1 dropout. although 1 guy failed in our batch, i'm thankful that no one dropped the course.

i've been submitting lots of applications for work overseas and haven't had much luck since. one corporation in japan responded pretty positively and i was told to email them my details by 1st october. but upon research on the school, it appears that it promotes fraternization and doesn't exactly have that cool a reputation in japan. so, i didn't reply to that email. the name of the company also makes it dubious. i am not a gigolo!

anyway, i've been contemplating leaving work but the bonus and the prospect of not having anything to do when i quit is too great a hinder. what if after leaving i still can't find work? i've got pretty good advice from friends and one of which was that if i have the financial means to go overseas to source for work for some time, then i should just head there instead of waiting and waiting. then again, no matter how in to pursuing our dreams we are, the singapore blood in us still spells "pragmatism". jeez... let me bleed dry.

the "pretentious" accent

2009-10-04T21:14:00.002+08:00

for a long time, i've been so disturbed by fake american accents of singaporeans that i didn't realise it didn't make much sense for my irrationale feeling. even those who sound natural and whom i happen to know didn't use to speak that way gets on my nerves.

but this trip to thailand got me thinking about accents in a whole new light. as much as the highly distinguishable fake-ness of the american accent still shakes me up every now and then, i've begun to find them more forgivable. and in fact, i feel that it should be encouraged. we should encourage the "correct" accents.

being in the academics of linguistics for a number of years now, i've been brainwashed into supporting the local flavour of english and the accent that comes with it. "there's no such thing as the "correct" accent!" yea right...

the incorrectness of the singlish grammatical structure is of no importance in this entry. but i've begun to seriously consider picking up the accent. american or british. whatsoever. i won't be using the "pretentious" accent to speak to my fellow singaporeans for sure. but i may try to speak that way when i deal with foreigners. americans or brits no less.

why?

if you think of yourself taking up a foreign language, like japanese, spanish, thai or whatsoever, somewhere in the back of your mind, you will (knowingly or unknowingly) make the effort to try to speak like the native speakers. because that's when language learning arrives at its peak. if by listening alone, my interlocuters are unable to tell that i am not a japanese when i speak their language, i have succeeded. the same goes for spanish, thai, korean etc. we don't want to speak japanese sounding like a singaporean. neither do we want to speak spanish like an asian. we want to speak like the spaniards and thai like the thais. so why doesn't the same go for english?

why?

as for the mandarin accent, i can't bring myself to speak like the beijingers. sorry...

non-native writers

2009-09-20T23:13:00.005+08:00

i've been reading some stuff online and am deeply disturbed by what i've seen.

i'm surprised how singaporeans who can't write grammatically are teaching english in the ministry. and worse, it gives them credentials to use the experience to apply for teaching jobs overseas. worse still, they get the job and tarnish the reputation of capable teachers back home.

it pisses me off...

difference between human and animals

2009-09-19T10:53:00.002+08:00

for centuries now, scientists and their groupies have decided that the major difference between human and animals is in the mental faculty.

the much-acclaimed "brilliance" of scientists came up with reasons like we are able to think and we have languages. but i'd beg to differ. i think we are but another species of self-absorbed, egoistical beast, perhaps much worse than the other species.

we cage the strong animals and display them in the zoo. we leave the smaller species on the streets and kill them either for food or because "they are a nuisance" or "they can't take care of themselves". look at the number of animals put to sleep at the organisation that supposedly helps animals. they are put to sleep because "no one adopts them", "the organisation does not have enough resources to keep them", "they are too injured to stay alive". but hey! they didn't ask us to look after them.

when our own gets killed by an animal, we put the animal to sleep. when our own gets abducted by an animal, we put the animal to sleep. what makes us think the world belongs to us? why are we assigning the sovereignty to ourselves? they didn't vote for us to "take care" of them.

what makes us think that animals don't have their own languages? just because they sound the same to us, doesn't make them the same. just because we don't know, doesn't mean they don't think.

at the very least, the crows in singapore, thailand and japan all sound different to me.

i do not suggest i am any different. just stop calling animals stupid. i find the comment ironical and disturbing.

I want to die

2009-07-29T20:03:00.000+08:00

since a long time ago, i've thought about death and how scary it could be. i remember an aunt telling me once that "death is not scary. why should you be scared? it's like sleeping." that made me even more fearful of death. i imagined myself sleeping forever. the thought scares me. it still does today. yes, it's true that being in a permanent sleeping state means that you won't even realise it. that's what scares me. now that i'm conscious, i cannot imagine myself being without senses forever. for the rest of time. i don't know if there is reincarnation or life after death but being in a permanent sleep state is frightening. not knowing, not existing, not having consciousness... for... ever.

recently i read a book called "the compass". one page talked about life expectancy. it says that we all expect to live longer than the average life span as if we've been granted a manual that says we'll live past a certain age. but that really isn't the case. it somehow led me to think about living forever, which i've always wanted. i keep imagining that one day, scientists will think of ways to keep all of us alive forever. although there will be population problem but that aside, some days ago, i've began to imagine what it'd be like if i do live forever. imagine doing what i am doing now, again and again and again and again and again... with no end.

it makes me want to throw up. makes me sick of it. this made me realise that life is like fine dining. you take a sliver of it and you love it to the max, you crave for more. but that's where you should stop and wait for the next time. because if you keep eating and eating and eating in large portions, you'll get sick of it. it won't be tasty anymore. you'll want to eat something else. and that's why i've come to the conclusion that, given a choice to live forever or die someday, i think i want to die... someday.

not now.

the power of the mind

2009-07-16T21:21:00.004+08:00

they say keep telling yourself the same thing over and over again and your mind registers it as the truth. hypnosis works the same way. repeat the same thing over and over again and people's minds registers it as the truth.

don't ask me who "they" refers to. they = they = they. not 家楼下的三姑六婆.

the bad times are looming over my office because of a b******. oh fuck political correctness. that bastard! now that i can't express myself freely in facebook, because my managing director's super cute and smart 8-year-old daughter is in my friend's list, i shall be more crude here for this entry.

but the good part is arriving because i'll be going all over the place!

for interested stalkers, i'll be at batam this weekend for 2 days, japan in august for 2 weeks and thailand for the whole of september! woots~

i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart. i'm not a braggart.

ナオミ liu

2009-07-08T21:34:00.005+08:00

by now, many people would've probably heard or read of this girl. the lingerie model who won the best modeling blog award. why, i wouldn't doubt the result. in fact, when i first read about it in the papers, i went to omy to check out the 25 year old and her competitors. she wins hands down.

just the photos alone are enough reasons to keep visitors going to her blog. nevermind the content. a sweet chick occasionally in lingerie versus all else boring. you tell me. honestly, i didn't read the content of her competitors'. afterall, it's a modeling blog contest, who really cares about the content? how do you even write modeling? i admit i've visited her blog page a number of times but true to the nature of a modeling blog, there's zero content and it's getting really boring and a waste of time.

i am mr. tan

2009-07-05T12:59:00.002+08:00

some weeks ago, i received a call from a travelling company whose name thou shalt not know. anyway, the lady said her name was grace and this was how the conversation went.

grace: hi, i am calling from ** *****, we are a travelling company. is it ok to do a short survey with you?

me: sorry? may i know where did you get my number from?

grace: oh, i am calling from ** *****, and i got your number from my management and i called at random.

that was it. when i heard the word 'random' i decided to give random answers too.

me: oh i see.

grace: so may i do a short survey with you? it's only 5 minutes.

me: ok sure.

grace: ok may i know what are you working as? just the job title will do.

me: i'm a sales executive.

grace: oh. sales... selling what? insurance, automobile or what?

me: er... services.

grace: oh servicing ah...

me: er... serv... ya.

grace: then how about your wife? is she working or is she a housewife?

me: er... she's a housewife.

grace: oh so may i know how much you make a month?

me: huh?

grace: er... is it above $2k or above $3k or above $5k?

me: above $2k

grace: ok one last question. what is your name? just the surname will do.

me: oh, tan.

grace: mr. tan is it?

me: yup!

grace: ok thank you so much mr. tan.

a week later, i received a call from another lady from the same company looking for mr. tan. i almost said "wrong number" until i remembered my alter-ego so i said "speaking". and the rest of the conversation was about getting free stuff which i obviously declined. =)

recordtv vs mediacorp

2009-06-30T19:40:00.002+08:00

i admit, i don't like mediacorp one bit. having witnessed and heard how the people work in the organisation, i have this impression that they are simply stuck up. yes, i also admit committing the mistake of judging the entire organisation by a small sample size because i have yet found evidence to the contrary. in spite of that, i believe my argument today is not biased. it will be based upon logical reasoning.

i just read on the papers that recordtv and mediacorp are having a lawsuit because mediacorp feels that recordtv has infringed on their copyright. also, mediacorp is challenging recordtv's claim that they are stifling the progress of an innovation. everything else aside, whether it is "a new innovation" or not, they are all committing a fallacy. they are arguing about something that is irrelevant to the more important issue - copyright.

i'd like to make an audacious assumption that mediacorptv just likes the idea by recordtv and wants to get rid of them before setting up this very same service themselves. yes, monopoly has resulted in this form of greed and arrogance. but to protect myself from any lawsuit, i still have to say that this is not necessarily true because it is afterall my groundless assumption.

back to the more important case, i think it is silly or plain dumb to be suing recordtv over copyright infringement. the case is simple. according to the report, recordtv's service allows users to record any program for up to 15 days. isn't this form of recording similar to the use of vcr, vcd recorder, dvd recorder or wintv? the only difference is in the way recording is executed. besides, the recordings online will be made inaccessible after 15 days as compared to the more traditional media, which can be saved, kept or even distributed. not that i am interested in keeping mediacorp programs anyway. to be honest, i really loved mediacorp's programs in the past. but while time has improved, the standard of the programs have stood at a standstill. look at chestnuts' musical for 2009 and you will understand. yes, chestnuts made fun of their unchanging script ideas for the past n years. but i digress.

if recordtv can be sued over copyright infringement just because it allows users to record tv programs, then they probably should start suing panasonic, thomson, sony, akira, hitachi, pioneer... because they all produced recording machines. worse, theirs can only be erased at the owners' own will. 15 days? even 15 years isn't a problem.

i hope they can step aside from the silly argument on whether or not it is a new innovation and get back to the crux of the matter. and i sure hope mediacorp realises this is but one silly case to be fighting.

disclaimer: i am not a recordtv user and neither should the above content on the lawsuit be taken as truth. it is only a personal opinion.

peter pan

2009-06-28T11:17:00.002+08:00

when i first heard the news of michael jackson's death, it felt so surreal i didn't have any thoughts or feelings about it. some days later - today, when i picked up the papers and read about him again, it felt like something was very wrong. no, i wasn't such a huge fan though i really admire his performances. i own 2 copies of his works.

not really.

one is an interview called "living with michael jackson". the other is "ghosts". i would love to have had a chance to catch his performance live when he was at his peak, but that wasn't much of my musical inclinations then.

the emptiness and disbelief didn't stem from my position as a fan. as i've already established, i'm not a huge fan of his. but the magnitude and charm he exudes on stage as i recall on mtv awards some many years ago during his anniversary made me fall in love with his onstage charisma. it was a total different person. and it was amazing. kinda like the beyonce-sasha-fierce vibe except way greater. he created a musical world of his own. but one thing i still cannot imagine...

how can the boy who refused to grow up die? how can the boy who lived in neverland die? how can peter pan die?

as i think about it, it felt like he didn't live a very happy life. made to enter the entertainment industry at a tender age of 6, he fell victim to the monstrosity of the complex world of entertainment. he seemed to have had the best things but he also had his worse. kidnap, paedophilia, endangering the life of his child, nose job, fair skin... it is as though no part of his body has not been a victim of tabloid.

he never knew what it was like to be normal. he never knew what it was like to have no cameras ambushing him everyday. less than 1/10th of his life anyway.

so perhaps it is time he gets some rest...

rest in peace, peter pan.

beware of yourself and more...

2009-06-20T22:05:00.006+08:00

the racism of yesteryear has spilled over even till today but we have become so used to it, many a times, it unknowingly slips off our tongue and out our sinful mouth.

while on the bus back today, a little boy was making a hell lot of noise. not that i know how noisy hell actually is. a number of people were looking over at the boy including one indian. there were also two other indians sitting beside the boy minding their own businesses.

as the parents tried to silence the boy to no avail, the father decided to use the tactic our parents used to use on us: 等一下 ah neh neh 抓你啊!

i was a little taken aback. with the indians at such close proximity, he actually blurted out "ah neh neh." i understand that they most likely do not understand mandarin. i also understand that "ah neh" in tamil means "brother" but those acclimatised to our society would've understood that "ah neh neh" is a pretty unflattering term.

underlyingly, we are still bred into the idea that the ah neh nehs are bad people who will kidnap us if we misbehave. and things like that cause racism to spread without our conscious knowledge of it. that is dangerous.

this very same incident also made me realise that the way our parents used to teach and discipline us is the very cause of our impulse to feel like hitting or slapping someone when they get on our nerves. whenever we did wrong and they do not like it, they whip out the cane and start whipping our asses. if i were a potato, i would've been sent to kfc long ago. this gave us the idea that violence is the solution. which is also why children under abuse have a higher tendency to grow up violent.

and yet another note, i was pretty "unautomatic" (buay zi dong) today. at the takashimaya basement, the kfc and macdonalds were side-by-side and we wanted to eat kfc. but kfc had no seats left and macs still had a few. also, we noticed a number of people eating kfc food at macs with only one macs ice-cream or regular drink on the table. so we decided to follow suit, except that we didn't bother to buy anything from macs. until a macs staff came over and helplessly tell us, "are you eating macdonalds? this is kfc the tables are over there..." and his tone was so helpless. you can really tell he is unhappy about it but at the same time, he can't scold us because of his position as a service staff. so i went to buy a mcflurry and sat down. i thought about it and i know that if i were in his position i would be so damn pissed off with us, i'll keep complaining and cursing and i'll post it on my blog. so after we finished our kfc stuff, we promptly cleared the tray in the kfc bin and before we left, i apologised to the staff for our inconsiderate act.

i'm really sorry...

yet another note. today i bought a new phone. the samsung jet. i was flipping through the user manual and found this... (click to see a larger image)

O_O!!!

the most heartwarming reason for quitting 4D

2009-06-19T21:03:00.003+08:00

today i was chatting with a colleague and the topic on 4D came up.

he said he hadn't bought 4D for over 10 years already and it was because of a dream some 10 years ago. he dreamt that the devil gave him 4 numbers and told him, "go buy these 4 numbers, and if you strike, you must give me your daughter's life."

although it's just a dream, for some reason, it was kinda chilling and since then, he gave up on 4D altogether.

overwhelmingly heartwarming.

i love this reason...

even juicier news

2009-06-19T15:02:00.001+08:00

remember the juicy news i posted some time ago?

even after having browsed the photos, i didn't realise till now that the girl's current boyfriend was a very good friend of mine in secondary school. yes, he changed that much, i didn't realise at first sight.

what a small and crazy world...

singapore knows

2009-06-15T22:02:00.003+08:00

as soon as i opened the front door to my home, i see mum and sis reading a letter. mum immediately told me she asked sis to open my letter in case it's from the army. i was confused.

i looked at the envelope and it read "on government service". i seriously thought it was a call to return to the army. then i looked at the letter. it's from mcys in a partnership with the moe to offer me a 1-year complimentary membership to the sdu. now known as sdu-sds.

so, the government does know that i still am single.

sawat dii khrap

2009-06-13T22:15:00.002+08:00

i've finally gotten my digicam today from the pc show. the crowd wasn't as bad as i had expected. i guess most people were grossed out by the last IT show in march. the crowd was so bad, i felt like throwing up... so everyone would move to the side and let me through.

going back to the topic, i'm planning to leave for thailand in september. if things go well, which is that if my boss allows me to take 1 month unpaid leave, then i would be spending that 1 month in thailand. 4 weeks to be exact, so i'll be back in the last week of september. but i'm kinda worried about my boss' reaction because i'm the only one doing what i do. my department only has me although i do have someone sometimes helping me out but his main job is still an editor.

i'm sure my parent company would be very pleased to hear of my decision since everyone is trying to cut cost and they actually sent out emails asking people to volunteer giving up their leaves, taking unpaid leaves or simply clearing them.

on a side note, after checking on things, i found out that i can actually work till july next year if my company does extend my contract at the end of this year. so hopefully, my contract gets extended! even though i've been saying i'll quit at the end of the year... = = but that was only because i had thought that the other plan would require me to fly over by early next year.

so let's all pray hard for my smooth unpaid leave application.

where's my memory?

2009-06-10T22:46:00.002+08:00

i actually had a couple - in this case, two exactly - of comments about serious stuff to write today. they came to me while i was at work but i can't recall what triggered them and what they were though i thought it would be interesting to write them down. it's been really long since i last wrote something interesting and i had to lose them! argh!

i seem to have lost my crazy memory to something. maybe there's a worm in my mind replicating itself taking up all my memory space. so now, instead of something intellectual, i'm going to do something a little more shallow.

i intend to get a digicam. yes, i've said it before but in between all that, i actually thought of getting a dslr. nikon d5000 to be exact, but i prevented myself from an impulse purchase, thought it through and decided, i need a camera that is easy to bring anywhere and one that can record unlimited video length. one that helps me capture my memories, not art.

so a compact digicam it is.

not canon ixus100is though.

why do you have beer belly?

2009-06-01T20:05:00.002+08:00

when we sit up from bed, we flex our abs.
when we laugh, we flex our abs.
when we gek sai, we flex our abs.

our abs is one of the most worked-out body parts. so why do you have a beer belly?

motor show show motor?

2009-05-30T19:52:00.005+08:00

there isn't really any great exigence for this post and it sure is untimely but i was just browsing the blog page of a certain naomi liu whom i read about on today's papers and this came to mind. this girl is one of the nominees for the singapore blog awards 2009 under the best modelling blog category. but marketing her is not the purpose of this. while mostly being a lingerie model, she also happens to be a race queen and it certainly brought to mind the few motor shows i've been to. and which i've since stopped going.

every year, a huge number of men swarm into the exhibition halls jamming up the area around the expo just to catch a glimpse of the latest machines. really?

not really.

to be frank, there are only that many new vehicles a year that are really worth the trip down to the expo where finding a decent meal is really tough. even the number of new concept cars are really only that many. put in the size of each machine, there really isn't much room to display enough for men to stay there for a few hours. not to forget, year after year, we can still see the same old models on display probably furnished with new decals.

but the surprising thing is, men can stay there for hours and even turn up 2 consecutive days. at one station, you can see a few guys snapping photos of a rotating car. you move off to another station, and another, and another. as you made a complete round and exit the exhibition hall, you turn back and notice the same few guys still snapping away at the same vehicle. some of their cameras probably aren't even snapping but are at maximal optical zoom. and some aren't even holding cameras!

think about it, genuine car lovers aren't that many. most of the guys are just there to spend 30 seconds staring at the first car they encounter near the entrance, look genuinely awed and the rest of the 1 hour 59 min 30sec are used to oogle at the race queens. in fact, after the first 20 sec, the eyes start drifting away to the side of the machines already. and these are the ones who have greater self-control.

let's be honest. it really isn't a motor show.

compulsive blogder

2009-05-27T21:26:00.003+08:00

i'm a compulsive blogder, i admit. i love to read others' blogs but at the same time, i am very selective of what blogs i read. it's not as simple as, you are my friend therefore i read your blog. the correlation just does not exist.

but if you are my friend, i would occasionally browse your entries to see if there's any interesting stuff to read and i'll selectively read them. if i really like them, i'll make sure i finish the entire chunk religiously even if they span a million pages. and also, since i do not know many people who update their blogs frequently, my addiction is often left unsatiated. it's always a pity when the good writers throw a two-liner and publish it for the week. it's like giving me half a dosage of heroine when i've already gone through detox for a week.

interestingly, in spite of the hype over celebrity bloggers, i do not and did not try reading any. ok, at least not many. the only valuable read i found is one of sheylara's. i recall seeing her on tv during my pre-pubescent years. alright, maybe not that long ago. many years later, she joined star-search as the oldest contestant and it was only when she became a star blogger on stomp, that i found out she has been a regular blogger. a few entries later, i fell in love with her writing. maybe not that exaggerating, but she is one of the few and rare interesting and good writers.

i've also been reading the blog of a certain friend of a friend. through her, i found that i enjoy good writers as much as bad writers. the in-betweens are usually boring stuff. that's why they're called the average. the notion that god made so many average people because they are special is flawed. it's also an extremely loser mentality. whoever came up with that probably suck at statistics. it's a pretty simple mathematical concept.

i'm not saying being average is bad. but if you are average, so be it. coming up with reasons to claim that you are special is a pathetic attempt at justifying your existence to yourself. and there really isn't a need to. why must some people always be more special than others? the truth is, everyone is special to different people.

whether you think i'm a good writer or not is of lesser importance. what is more important is, if you are not an average writer, please write more because i have too little things to read at work. i need time off the videos!

gambling addict

2009-05-23T09:41:00.002+08:00

i'm not a person who gambles. well, at least not usually. the only time i used to gamble was during chinese new year or very rarely during christmas, where all our relatives gather together and had nothing else better to do. but we no longer gamble as much since we no longer gather as often.

i remember the very first time i bought toto was some 3-4 years ago when i won over $50. since that amount of money was sort of "extra" (it wasn't mine to begin with), i decided to use it for the $10 million toto jackpot that very same year with guang forking out another $50 to share. so yes, it's a hundred dollar worth of ordinary quickpicks and guess what? we didn't even manage to match 4 numbers. the site says it's one out of over 8 million chances to match all 6 numbers.

the 2nd time i bought toto was, well, i didn't actually pay mum to buy it. when she asked her colleague to buy, i merely said to buy one for me too. it was a $1 bet and i didn't pay mum for it. haha... the 3rd time was when my office colleagues decided to pitch in some money to bet the $10 million jackpot during this year's cny. the 4th was when i asked guang to help me buy $1 ordinary quickpick. and the 5th was last wednesday for the $3 million and last one i bought was for yesterday's $5 million anniversary draw. no luck at all.

all-in-all, i've "donated" $72 to the singapore pools over a span of 4 years. to many compulsive gamblers, this amount is nothing. they can easily donate it in a day's draw. but i have this fear that i may fast become a gambling addict. i didn't believe in gambling before. the odds are so crazy, the thought of stepping into a singapore pools outlet makes me want to puke. and now, without even trying, i've overcome the phobia. this is scary.

i swear i will never involve myself in gambling again!

wanna bet?

american idol

2009-05-22T20:33:00.006+08:00

yes, that's the latest big thing to happen i guess. but kris allen shouldn't feel too happy about winning. if i were adam, i'd be overwhelmed with joy. one can only understand why allison appeared so happy at the finals.

for the past 7 seasons, only kelly clarkson and carrie underwood made it big as winners of the reality show. david cook may be getting there but i'm not so sure yet. as for the rest of the winners?

just look...

i don't even know what happened to ruben studdard. and what was fantasia barrino doing when jennifer hudson collected her grammy? daughtry already performed in singapore and i have yet heard from taylor hicks. jordin sparks didn't leave her mark on us like a tattoo and david archuleta sold more albums than david cook.

and guess what? i'm looking forward to allison iraheta's first album...

the english language didn't spread sars

2009-05-22T20:10:00.007+08:00

back in 2003 when the sars epidemic started, japan seem immuned to the virus. there were virtually zero cases of sars patients in the country.

i remember reading an article where some japanese guy claimed that it is due to the language that sars didn't spread in japan. apparently, unlike the english language, articulation of the characters in the japanese alphabet does not cause saliva to fly between interlocuters and this is alleged to be the reason that prevented the spread of sars in the nation.

today, there are over 200 cases of influenza A (h1n1) in japan and that has debunked the nonsense that language has anything to do with the spread of germs. that is of course unless those who got it spoke anything other than japanese.

being a linguistics graduate and a speaker of the japanese language, i can understand that none of the japanese characters contain aspirated plosives but i do not believe that it is these aspirated plosives that made the difference. afterall, i've personally witnessed japanese speakers fire their saliva at their victims while speaking the language.

i am 怪懒!

2009-05-21T20:22:00.003+08:00

singaporeans not queuing to board the train is nothing new. from an empty ground, we had yellow lines and arrows painted to teach us how to queue and allow passengers to alight first. apparently we are all blind to yellow, so now, the lines are much longer and in red at some stations.

for someone who complains like this, i should stand to the side. and yes i do. sounds really civilised. but when i am the one alighting and people block my way by trying to squeeze in before i could alight, i will deliberately knock into them one way or another.

yes, i am 怪懒.

screen addict

2009-05-20T20:46:00.002+08:00

"you're a screen addict!" my now-failing mind shouts into my face. except that it wasn't really out of my skull hovering in front of me.

i came to realise i may already have been one a real long time ago. the only thing distracting me from this fact was me spending all that time trying to get my hands on something with a screen. technology has infiltrated our lives so much, i am no longer able to keep my eyes off something with a screen. each day during work, i have 3 monitors facing me. one is used to view master copy videos for editing, one for accessing emails and typing reports, and the other for msn and surfing.

as soon as i reach home, either the desktop or the laptop comes alive and i'll sit there for some time until i run out of things to do. then, i'll stare at the pathetic shows mediacorp transmits in disbelief and when it bores me enough, i'll start hunting for sis' ndsl or psp.

there's a reason why i made 2 entries today. because sis isn't back to use the desktop yet and her ndsl isn't home. as for the psp... low-batt, lazy to charge. maybe when i get my hands on a dslr, i'll fiddle with it all the time. afterall, it has a screen and there's this thing called novelty. and i'll also be getting an electronic dictionary soon.

oh god tell me this isn't an addiction~ via sms please...

ayumified

2009-05-20T19:41:00.002+08:00

my right ear decided to do an ayumi today while i was on the biggest loser. having been on the headphone for so long, my right ear suddenly shut off and i couldn't hear anything coming from it. the only sound i could hear came from my left ear. i was shocked. i removed the headphone immediately and heard a ringing sound in my right ear.

i think i'm going deaf from this job. maybe i need to see a doctor. maybe i need to quit this job. but don't try giving me suggestions on what to do, it will just fall on deaf ears. especially the right one.

real lies and fake truths

2009-05-19T22:21:00.002+08:00

some many years ago, a certain drama of investigative nature put to words yet another abstract idea that many of us know but may not have realised or never really gave it a second thought since it may have come rather naturally. kind of like common sense.

the most believable lie is one that is closest to the truth. perhaps with all else constant and altering only one variable, that would be the strongest lie.

yes, we all know this theory. it makes great sense. but how often do we question things we hear? especially things that appear to have every other evidence supporting the fallacious hypothesis and none that is contrary. how easy is it to create a lie that is based upon the truth to mislead, to wield the sword, don the shining armour yet breathe fire?

someone who warns you to beware of liars could very well be the liar, drifting you further and further away from the truth. but another dilemma occurs. if we do question every single thing we hear, we may become schizophrenic.

so now we're trapped between questioning or not. and we all know there's no definite answer. and because of that, we sink into great depression and cause the economy to fail. at least we're still alive.

smile, you're average!

2009-05-11T21:44:00.002+08:00

some time ago, i heard this somewhere and found it interesting...

the most average people are the most special, that's why god made so many of us.

no, i'm not a follower of christ. that does not necessarily imply that i'm a non-believer. neither does the above statement imply that i am a believer. i like to keep things ambiguous. as long as i know what i am, i don't have to let the rest of the world know.

and i don't think i'm special. =)

bringing stalking to a whole new level

2009-05-10T17:07:00.002+08:00

fastfood chains such as the big yellow m and the likes have revolutionised stalking to such an extent, it is putting more victims on the line.

if you've ever made home delivery requests from these outlets, it really is easy for anyone who has your number to find out where you live. it's even faster than searching on yellowpages. one just has to make a call to them, provide your number and WHAMO!~ the other party on the line recites your address obediently.

without your unit number that is. but i don't see how that makes you any safer. maybe just a little. so if you intend to stalk me, drop me a message, i'll provide you with the number i make orders with. =)

when you get to choose jobs

2009-05-08T12:19:00.004+08:00

3rd post of the morning, or afternoon since i really woke up only at 1130am. yes, tomorrow's vesak day and refusing to be pressured by the norm, my oscar winning company decided to take creativity to another level by closing the office today instead of having one of 2 other options below:

1) off-in-lieu on monday
2) crediting an extra day of leave

honestly, i'd rather have the latter. because for some silly reason, my august trip compelled me to take 3 days of unpaid leave which leaves me with 3 days of leave at the end of the year. i told you it was silly. so now, i have 3 days of leave at the end of the year to spare, and with this leave and deepavali falling on saturday as well, i'd have 5 days of leave in total which would place me in a better position for another trip. kinda like 9 days trip with 5 days leave.

and how often do you see people digressing so much, they nearly forget what the topic was if not for the oh-so-great invention called the "title".

so i've been reading some pages of friends and came across this:

yes, this is from serene's page.

i'm wondering if this is enough evidence of some desperation at seducing the innocence of undergraduates to mortgage 4 years of their lives into teaching. and in usual cases, a company this desperate would put jobseekers in a good stead at fighting for a better remuneration package. except that this isn't a private company. it's a government sector. and more importantly, there is umpteen number of clueless undergraduates who'd jump at any opportunity to snatch a job, especially in this economic climate. and that's not including those who are already clueless even in a better economic climate. moe is a surefire way to get a secured job at least for the next 4 years. and to make it all the more appealing, you get paid while you're studying too!

there's a simple reason why some people go for engineering or business degrees. because they are clueless and if that's where everyone else is going, it must be good.

the oh-so-singaporean mentality.

(on a side note, my apprehension towards teaching probably stemmed from a history lecturer from tpjc who reminded us time-and-again, being bonded sucks. and to make things specifically worse, he was bonded to moe.)

we are so entrenched into the thinking that prospect is important, we have forgotten that there is an alternative called interest, which was what brought me into fass in the first place. i've been brought up the same way most people were but thankfully, i've grown to do what interests me more than what gives me greater prospect. it is from your interests that you begin to search for prospect.

for me, i'll be going to teach in order to pursue my interest. yes, i like to teach but not with moe. hopefully some years down the road, i don't think twice about this and moe happens to read this and decline my application.

thankfully for my friends, i can see the passion to go into teaching in many of them. for those who do not and still have time to think twice, maybe you should.

margaret fuller puts it best: men for the sake of living, forget to live.

the virgin digicam

2009-05-08T11:56:00.004+08:00

i've never been much of a digicam person. afterall, with mobile phones equipped with camera function becoming a tautology, why would i need to whip out that extra cash to get myself something i already have?

many-a-times when i want to get certain things, after some time, i always end up deciding to save that money instead. i've been wanting to get a camcorder for the longest of times until recently i found that digicams can get a matchable quality of video recording that i started to think twice about it. camcorders aren't exactly practical unless you really require the snap-at-every-5s function which sorts of saves your memory and fast forwards a video that takes ridiculously long to record. it's kinda like what you see in concert setups.

and after jeannie passed me her unworkable camcorder to try and having spent $12 on new dvd-rams to confirm that it is not working, i've finally decided to get a camera instead. more so after the pathetic recordings i did in taiwan recently. i can barely see or hear what i recorded. it's so bad, i don't even remember what i was saying.

so i'm currently targetting this:

my virgin camera!

maybe...

mas selamat again

2009-05-08T11:45:00.002+08:00

after an unknown number of months, mas selamat is finally caught in malaysia debunking the urban legend that he had been tortured to death in prison and that the escape was merely a weak attempt at a coverup.

but until the public sees another footage of him being arrested, or even see the live action of him being escorted to the local prison, i'm not so certain how believable it is.

with the h1n1 virus being the most talked-about topic in recent days, i'm not even certain if people are still interested in his case. it's untimely.

lyrics on my page

2009-05-07T19:51:00.002+08:00

i've done it before but i can't say i understand why people do that.

i recall posting some lyrics on this page, most of which are short excerpts of sentences which i find very well-written. sort of like a literary comment. i do not post entire lyrics... except that i really did it once with iron maiden's revelation. probably coz i thought it was well-written too, but i find it silly to be throwing an entire song into my page.

why the hell would you want to read lyrics on my blog? why the hell would anyone want to read something written by someone else on my page? posting lyrics of entire songs is about the worst entry anyone can do to abuse their weblog. it's vandalism. unless it's written by the blog page owner. at least that's something original.

baa baa black sheep have you any wool
yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
one for my master, one for the dame
and one for the little boy who lives down the lane

that was an original.

i swear.

fuck...

what am i?

2009-05-02T00:02:00.003+08:00

singapore is a pretty confused nation.

our national language is malay but our 1st language is english. malay is one of the 2nd languages here but my 2nd language is mandarin. i don't speak a word of malay, our medium of instruction is english yet i'm not considered a native speaker of english.

what am i?

teaching 2010

2009-04-22T20:31:00.001+08:00

never thought i'd do this but am planning to join the teaching profession next year.

gonna apply end of this year. hope i get it...

i'm sorry you are small

2009-04-18T13:46:00.003+08:00

i am watching the repeat telecast of campus superstar 3 grand finale. although i haven't been much of a follower this season, i noticed that whenever comments are sought from supporters of anglican girl 蔡艾珈, they constantly remind her of her petite built.

they like starting the sentence with, “虽然她娇小。。。” but what has the ability to sing got to do with size? where's the correlation?

it's all your parents' fault

2009-04-18T13:15:00.002+08:00

many a times when students are caught in the act of undesirable actions, the public often try to figure out who's at fault. i don't recall the witness having expertise in judgmentology.

the pinpointing usually occurs between the 2 or more parties involved and ultimately, some smart-aleck will accuse the parents of not teaching the kids. we are so bred into the ideology that children are incapable of rationale decision-making that in spite of the alarming rate of neurological growth in the new generations of students, we insist on pushing the blame to the parents. this is unhealthy.

knowing that they have little implications to bear on public perception, these evolved rebels may no longer grow under the idea that holding responsibility is necessary. afterall, they are "just students" and "it is their parents who didn't teach them properly".

students nowadays are so intellectually advanced, parents shouldn't be held responsible for every little action they do.

if you don't agree with what i have to say here, it's not my fault. blame my parents.

mind your shirts

2009-04-17T23:47:00.003+08:00

i kinda hate clothes with texts on it. it's like haunting you to read it, as if having images are not bad enough.

things get worse when girls wear them and even worse when they have texts beginning near the chest area. images already draw our eyes to them to see what pictures you have on your top. texts simply make our eyes wander longer at your chest area so that we can make sense of the texts.

i realised that texts increase the salience on your chest by such a significant amount, my eyes are often drawn to them without my command. i so often look at tops with texts on it, friends and/or strangers may begin to suspect i am freaking lecherous.

but please give me the benefit of the doubt. i was just reading the texts!

but if your top has neither texts nor images, i'm really just staring at your breasts. i heard it's equivalent to a good workout. =)

造福社会？

2009-04-12T09:19:00.002+08:00

what the...

the innovative japanese strikes again

2009-04-12T09:11:00.004+08:00

took the above image at uniqlo @ tampines 1. nowadays, even bras come with wifi functionality. surf the internet wirelessly with your memories!

i mean mammaries.

a message from jet li

2009-04-11T13:39:00.002+08:00

“我很年轻就习惯两边看问题，男人觉得女人烦，女人说男人自私。老板骂员工不努力，员工埋怨老板给少假期。明白了游戏规则我就不会埋怨，埋怨改变不了问题。”

i wasted one year?

2009-04-10T21:01:00.003+08:00

time and again, i've heard people telling me going to polytechnic is a waste of time if you are to enter a university.

that's pretty much my situation.

the most popular argument is that 1 additional year is wasted in poly when the jc students already enter university. is that always the case? i'd beg to differ.

the reason behind the idea is simple. jc is a 2-year course while poly is a 3-year course. and if one goes from a life science major in poly to a life science major in uni, it kinda renders the diploma useless when you achieve a bachelor. on a weaker note, we may argue that employers may be more impressed with a poly student who makes it to a varsity. but that is just plain speculation. it can never be proven until someone actually does a survey.

but the above is not really the case. because poly students get additional credits in university, they may end up being on par with jc students. at the most, poly students trail jc students by a semester. and that is half a year. then it may be argued that we might've paid a little too much fees in poly when we end up at the same place as our fellow jc batch of students who paid only a fraction of that.

we all also already know the old and boring argument that poly students can work with a diploma if they don't make it to uni but jc students can't do the same with an A-level certification. then, they'd be forced to go to a private school or overseas for further study.

my case is a tad different. when i went from an internet computing diploma in poly to an arts degree majoring in english language in uni, i was only behind my batch of students by a semester. yes, that is half a year. and guess what?

i only spent an additional 6 months to hold an additional diploma in computing. if my fellow jc friends were to take that, it would cost them another 3 years.

now who's the winner?

some juicy news

2009-04-05T21:13:00.005+08:00

faithful followers of this semi-dull weblog would know i hardly talk about my life here. perhaps even lesser about my love life. 'cause i actually don't have much to talk about. at the same time, i dread revealing too much about myself here. did you notice the lack of photos? at the very least, if repercussions do come of it, i have more time to remain unidentified until a search professional is hired to do a google on me. that's right. i am the south korean golfer.

i haven't felt a certain way in a long while 'cause i haven't met someone who could make me feel that way in that same length of time. a recent discovery roused some emotions which i didn't expect to feel.

i recall many years ago, this certain friend of mine sat beside me in class. we were pretty close back then, till a chinese test where she had difficulty answering 2 of the questions. being seated to my left, she turned around and asked for an answer. i shared my answer with her and she wrote it down happily. moments later, she asked for the answer of another question. i thought cheating for one question was bad enough. i pretended not to hear her and refused to share my answer the second time. being a considerably outstanding student in mandarin in class, she was certain i knew the answer and she knew i just didn't want to share it with her. following which, she decided to stop talking to me.

i was a little affected when she ignored me and it carried on for the next 4 days. on the fourth day when i was at the bus stop on the way home, a friend passed me an envelope with a card in it and told me he was told by her to pass it to me. i opened it and read it. it had something like some checkboxes on why this card is given and she checked 2 boxes. one of which read "i'd like to say hello" and the other read "吃饱没事做". below the checkboxes was a message that said she was sorry and actually wanted to not talk to me for 1 week but could only hold out 4 days. interestingly, she signed off with a question mark, not wanting to write her name.

following which, things were slightly different between us but when we went to different classes the following year, all contacts were gone. in spite of the fact that she was only next door, i don't recall seeing her at all for the next 2 years.

some time after o levels, while working at music junction, i met her again when she happened to walk into the shop. i was really happy to talk to her again. i was waiting to enter temasek polytechnic then and when i heard that she went to tp for the 1st 3 months, i was rejoicing within myself. but she followed by saying she didn't like it there and will be entering ngee ann polytechnic instead. my heart kinda sank for a moment.

we then lost contact again for the next 3 years or so. some time later, she found me on friendster and i was again feeling happy but we didn't really talk much then. later, i found out she was studying in australia and nearing her final year, we began chatting on msn almost every day. but at that time, she already had a boyfriend one year our junior and she didn't seem to recall the chinese test incident. sometimes when she had trouble or worries, she'd confide in me and told me a secret supposedly nobody else knows. to be honest, i don't know in detail either. i just know what she told me.

we said we'd meet up again when she returns from australia. but when she returned, we sorta stopped contacting again. she did drop a message a day after she landed saying to meet up someday but that was the only one message.

i realised sometimes in the depths of my heart, i secretly wished for her and her boyfriend to break up someday so that we may have a chance. because she had a boyfriend, i didn't want to do anything to upset that relationship. my principle is to not get involved with another's girlfriend because if i have a girlfriend, i wouldn't want others to get involved with her either. although i have friends who tell me i should fight for it.

her display pictures on msn were almost never her boyfriend's but somehow it seemed that their relationship were going pretty strong though i do know of a number of quarrels. after some years, i accepted that they were going to be together for long and perhaps going to get married. inside, i gave my blessings. but somehow, i occasionally still hope for something.

some months ago, we started chatting for a bit again and stopped again. a moment ago, i saw a photo album that she titled "beginning of a new life". i was surprised. for some reason, i was afraid that she was married or due to get married. i looked at the photos and captions and realised, she had broken up with the younger guy.

but she's now with someone else and this new relationship started a month ago.

to be honest, i didn't know i still feel that way for her. but i guess i missed my chance again.

the evolution of child pornography

2009-04-04T11:08:00.004+08:00

i just happen to see a news article on a pre-pubescent girl performing pole-dancing in thailand. my guess would be that she's only 8 or 10 years old.

granted, there's no explicit sexual acts performed. but a sexually provocative dance, to me, should still be classified under child pornography. and whoever hired that girl should be charged for at least 2 counts.

1) child labour
2) paedophilia

worse if she was made to do it. and whoever uploaded those videos...

3) distribution of child pornography

i wonder if paedophiles molest themselves when they were young. maybe it's classified under masturbation.

to be like or unlike

2009-04-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

just saw a post on stomp that reads, "we need more iconic spots like this in bangkok".

interestingly though, i wonder why do we need things like someone else. and do we really need to be like someone else?

when we don't have it, we complain and say we need to be like them. but when we have it, we are just copycats.

take the singapore flyer for example. we are copying the london eye. worse still, we cannot match up to the yokohama ferris wheel. we should be like them.

it's funny how whoever we are like, we always pale in comparison to someone else. and when we finally match that better someone else, we are just another copycat.

we probably top the world rankings for cynicism. me? i'm cynical about cynics. that may be why i'm contributing to the stats.

handsome suit

2009-03-31T23:56:00.004+08:00

handsome suit is but a japanese version of 200 pound beauty starring 阿鸿, 林依晨 and 萧雅轩.

胸无大志也是一种幸福

2009-03-29T17:21:00.002+08:00

从小到大，我们未曾没听过努力读书将来必能成大业？

父母对我们的期望不是做医生，律师，就是经理或总裁。从小灌溉的观念似乎已把成大业变成人生唯一的目标。达不到便是失败中的失败。人生的目标一但失去了，我们就找不到活着的意义。就算达到了，生命也似乎随着我们的理想结束了。人生失去了方向，便陷入低潮。严重的话还会换上忧郁症。

小学的我成绩算不错。每年必定在班上拿前十名以内。到了中学，开始感到9个科目的压力。第一年就落到班上最后第二名。有3-4科不及格。非常担心会被责骂的我不敢让爸妈知道。但是有些事是逃不掉的。爸爸没责骂，只是露出了失望的神情。妈妈则说下次努力就好。连续2-3个学期的历史科都不及格，开始对历史感到害怕，压力也开始增加。但是每次跟妈妈说了话后，总是感到轻松。

考得不好，下次再努力就行了。

这是妈妈的名言。到了中四，少了外加的压力，多了自己的期望，也非常情愿地努力。第一次考了班上第三名。当时虽然能报读初级学院，但我却想报读ITE。妈妈听了，不但没什么大反应，还说了只要是自己要的，想清楚了就去做。一向来非常依赖妈妈说法的我，顿时感到彷徨。该是自己做决定的时候了。经过了一些思考，与朋友的讨论后，被派去初级学院的我决定了转到理工学院去。

在理工学院的那三年，好像变成了自由人。父母再也不过问成绩考得怎么样。我也开始不太在乎能不能考得非常好了。似乎变成了胸无大志。对自己的要求并没有很高。好就好，不好就不好。不需要给自己太多的压力。过得开心，没有对不起自己就好。心情放松了，对喜欢的科目也非常自然的努力了解，成绩也不错，能报读大学。

父母虽然没要求，但我知道他们也希望家里能有个大学生，就报读了新加坡国立大学。第一个学期，开始厌倦了读书的生涯。有了退学的念头。告诉妈妈后，希望妈妈能给自己一些鼓励，甚至是逼我继续读。但意料之外，妈妈却说，“不想读就别读。但要想清楚，决定了才退学。得了文凭，却发了疯有什么用？我不需要一个大学毕业的疯儿子。”

仔细想了想决定读下去。有个文凭就好，成绩差我也无所谓。一个学期后成绩比想象中还好，便开始告诉自己该努力一点成绩会更好，也开始读了自己有兴趣的科目。本以为只能拿个普通的pass，结果考到了 bachelor with merit 还能读个算不错的学位。

一向对自己要求不算高的我，很幸运的这一路走来都还算顺利。常常跟妈妈开玩笑说，我们没有压力因为我们胸无大志，对自己根本没有很大的要求。想做的事，成功的话是个bonus，失败了也无所谓。

周杰伦的“稻香”也说明了一句简单的事：

得不到的梦想换个梦不就得了。

对一些人来说，这或许有点胸无大志。但至少我的人生活的开心，活得轻松，每天都能带着笑容面对人生。几十年后，回头看看我这短暂的生命，我是否活得开心，充实，还是花了半辈子过着压力重重的生活，拼了一番事业，但却错过了半个世纪快乐生活的一次机会？

我的答案，现在开始画上笔画。

performance outside yasukuni

2009-03-27T22:48:00.004+08:00

in spite of his insistence to visit the yasukuni shrine annually to the protests of many chinese and koreans tortured or know people tortured under japanese aggression during the 2nd world war, koizumi junichiro seems to be a better candidate to the position than his successors.

in 2005, koizumi attempted to pass a Postal Reform to privatize postal services in japan so as to relief financial burden on the government. this move was rejected by the upper house and at the risk of losing his prime minister post, koizumi dissolved the lower house, expelled rebel LDP members and called for a general election. this move was not welcomed as koizumi appeared to be attempting political suicide but his popularity rose instead and won the general election. the Postal Reform was then passed.

5 years after taking up the position, koizumi stepped down and his successors couldn't impress. 1 year into service, abe shinzo resigned. fukuda yasuo took over and resigned after another year. they didn't visit the shrine, but they didn't do much either.

he may have incurred the wrath of many with his visits to the yasukuni shrine, but he also publicly apologised twice for the atrocities of world war 2, which had nothing to do with him. and people still weren't satisfied. why force someone who did no wrong to apologise to the world? what purpose does that serve?

did you ever consider the fact that koizumi was only 3 years old when the war ended?

一张嘴征服一国人

2009-03-26T20:03:00.007+08:00

老实说，你觉得希特勒帅吗？

戴上一顶帽子，他也只不过是个来自奥地利的卓别林。

他却凭着一张嘴征服了一国人。

但却在他自禁的半个世纪后，一为蛋糕师傅因为一位 4 岁男孩的名字里有‘阿道夫希特勒’而不肯在男孩的生日蛋糕上写上他的名。

即使被世世代代的人们憎恨，也是名留千古。

flying time

2009-03-22T12:12:00.004+08:00

not all things that have wings fly. and not all things that fly have wings.

time flies? i have no idea but to me, it seems to disappear instead. there are times when i don't even recall what i did with my 24hours a day especially during my time in uni. i can only remember 15 hours of the 168 hours in a week where i sit in class and stare blank, trying my best to look deep in thought. the rest of the 153 hours doesn't seem to have existed in my life.

time doesn't just disappear when you're having fun or enjoying yourself. time disappears when you don't do anything.

when you sit on the couch, and waste away your life. when you head straight for your bed as soon as the weather turns windy. when you sit in front of your pc blogging about this.

i just lost a good amount of my could've-been-better life. and you just did the same by reading this.

fooled by randomness

2009-03-16T20:02:00.003+08:00

not that i read the book. rather, it's more of how we seem to think too much over really simple and random occurences in life.

don't think too much. things are only signs when you make them out to be. and the consequences do not come with 30-day money back guarantees.

random = random = random. don't give me the oracular reasoning shit.

obscenity

2009-03-14T20:32:00.004+08:00

being in this industry for some time sorta gave me some interesting insights into the mechanics behind censorship.

a certain episode of oprah created some thoughts in me.

this particular transgender who used to be a beautiful woman became a man and married another woman. some time later they decided to have a baby together but the wife was unable to bear the child for some reason. so, they used the transgender's womb for the baby instead and there the transgender became the first pregnant "man" ever. the media is pretty lame because it's obviously a pregnant woman. i digress.

the papers then showed an image of a topless him with his pregnant body. and this got me pondering, what is it about a woman's body that makes her being topless obscene? why is the transgender's breastless body allowed to be shown when the body is in fact a woman's body to begin with? what's the rationale for censoring a topless pregnant woman but allowing a topless pregnant transgender to pass?

is it because of the missing breasts? but what about the breasts make the person different from a fat man whose breasts may not necessarily be smaller than a woman's? does that mean women with really small breasts can go topless on public media?

even though the transgender is supposed to have become a man, that doesn't change the fact that it's a woman's body. unless maybe they mutilated her head and attached it to a man's body.

and what about the term "transgender" makes the body a man? being a man has become such an abstract concept, it seems that calling yourself one is good enough a reason to go topless in the public. you girls can try doing that. but if you do, let me know. i'd like to catch you in action.

raison d'etre

2009-03-10T23:55:00.003+08:00

it is perhaps the most asked question and many christian converts i've met have, at some point, been pondering about the very same question before signing on to the church.

i don't know how much answer one can get and i don't know how much answer i can offer. but at the very least, i can throw you one daring question.

do you work to live or live to work?

interestingly, i've only seriously tried to think about the question on my purpose of being some days ago and at the snap of a finger, this very question popped in my mind. no doubt it doesn't answer all my question. but at least it is guiding me to some direction in life.

we spend so much time trying to establish our career beginning as soon as we stepped into school. that was to prepare us for work and when we finally get out of school, we strive hard to climb the corporate ladder. we scrimp and save for the future but at the end of it all, what have we achieved? being part of a large corporation that may last for the next 158 years and go bankrupt overnight? whether it survives or not, we wouldn't have left any impression to anyone. much less any impression to ourselves. we can barely recall what we have done with our life. all we can see is what we have done to it. by then, it's done.

to answer the question i myself threw, i was almost living to work. now i'm working to live. at least i try...

你好吗？

2009-03-07T12:30:00.005+08:00

刚刚通过表妹的博客读了一篇文章。也启发了我以中文表达我对常常碰到的事情的想法。

那篇文章写的是我们在无意识中逐渐地把单纯与开心的距离拉远了。这两件事的关系本来很紧密，但在繁杂的都市生活中，渐渐地被遗忘了。

这也让我想起了在日常生活中常碰到的交谈。一句很简单的，“你好吗？”已被繁杂的社会事物扰乱了它的单纯。

记得上日文课时，老师教到，被问“元気ですか？”时，无论如何，必须回答“はい、元気です。”上泰文课时，被问"sabaay dii ree khrap?" 时，无论如何，必须回答"sabaay dii khrap."上西班牙文课时，被问"¿como estas?" 时，无论如何，必须回答"bien." 这是一种礼貌。

曾认识一位50多岁的加拿大人。至今，她仍为了一家非盈利机构发展的规划而日夜奔波。但无论她外表再疲惫，每当我问到，"how are you doing?" 时，她总是面带着笑容地回答，"i'm doing good."

相对的，新加坡似乎已被 pragmatism 彻底的淹没了。"how are you doing?" 后，常常会听见，"not good." 福建的"ho bo?” 后，常常会听见，"bo ho leh." 中文的，“你好吗？”后，会听见，“不是很好。”就连马来文的，"apa khabar?" 后，也会听见，"tak baiklah."

跟许多本地人上了外语课后，听见与别人不一样的回答。

A:元気ですか？
B:いいえ、元気ではありません。

A:sabaay dii ree khrap?
B:sabaay may dii khrap.

A:¿como estas?
B:muy mal.

一句简单的问候，招呼，似乎被我们视为一句很严肃的问答题。这或许是国家的 ideology 搞的怪。当我们认真的思考时，豁然发现，一句句的“不好“，“いいえ”，"sabaay may dii", "muy mal", "bo ho, "tak baik", "not good", 都在以社会的经济发展为标准来定夺。想想，我们又何曾以周遭较简单的事物来决定我们的人生快乐与否？

最后，我想问一句，“你好吗？”

jay chou is a porn star

2009-03-06T20:53:00.000+08:00

let's straighten things out

2009-03-05T22:57:00.003+08:00

some time ago, the english majors were discussing the mechanics behind let's. for some reason, they were trying to explain why let's is not a contraction of let us, which i thought it was. but the conversation just started on the premise that it is not a contraction and they were trying to find an explanation for it.

i recall priya came up with the most acceptable answer which went something like, contractions only occur with succeeding verbs like be. us is not a verb, thus no contraction can take place. for example:

she is -> she's
he is -> he's
they are -> they're
we are -> we're

in spite of that, i still think it is a contraction of "let us" because contractions don't just occur with verbs. look, i just used one. don't.

not is not a verb but it can still be contracted with the verb do, can as well as many others. with this evidence to the contrary, the premise accepted before cannot stand.

but this got me thinking... hypothetically speaking, if let's is really a contraction of let us, but can't and don't do not exist. without the evidence to the contrary, how can we disprove the hypothesis we first came up with?

even without evidence, can't something be an exception? let's think...

world's largest industry

2009-03-04T20:32:00.007+08:00

the church is a business entity selling abstractions...

are you deficient? oh sorry, it's me

2009-03-01T20:39:00.002+08:00

the first thing we did this morning was to pull a stunt. unknowingly, that is.

guang and i were catching valkyrie at gv plaza this morning at 11:10am. we went in the theatre early and settled ourselves comfortably at our seats M-03 and M-04 in hall 1, when this guy came over and said their seats are M-02 and M-03. i was like, "wha? ours is M-03 and M-04."

how the hell can there be an overlap? the guy then doubted himself and went towards his lady friend standing behind and checked the tickets. i glanced back and saw the huge number 3 on their ticket and said to them, "yours is hall 3" and they went out the theatre.

i turned to guang and said, "they didn't see the number 3? maybe see wrongly." a few moments later, the guy came back and said, "excuse me, this is hall 3"

i laughed and went, "oh, we got the wrong theatre. sorry, it's us... haha" in a seemingly calm manner, but deep in my heart i was like...

shit

the levil and the frangel

2009-02-28T21:51:00.004+08:00

let's do the really outdated riddle...

q: what's the difference between mr. lonely and mr. freedom?
a: they are the same person!

well, i tried casting them as the devil and the halo guy but couldn't really figure who's who. somehow, loneliness became the devil and freedom became the angel. it's not like i dread my freedom but it seems that the 2 worlds we're caught in between are always mutually exclusive.

since the last time something ended, i've been breathing better. a lot better. and unfortunately, that has also made me dread starting another one. after months and years of freedom, i'm getting so used to it, i'm beginning to develop a phobia of being with another person. on the other hand, i would at times wonder what it'd be like to feel that way again. but the experience would always tell me, "no!" and then something would hop off my left shoulder and go, "hey! you're lonely!" and they fight.

but for some reason, it always ends in a draw and i know not what to do. mostly though, the levil wins and i stay where i am. i'm happy. or maybe i'm just escaping. some time ago, i heard this, "escapism is worse than making a bad decision".

but what if i've made the bad decision to escape?

heterosexuality

2009-02-28T13:35:00.003+08:00

it's funny how people use marriage and offsprings as premises for claims of heterosexuality...

work life is underrated

2009-02-28T10:56:00.002+08:00

studying is better.

the idea has been drilled so deeply into us, any attempt to extract it will only rip our guts along with it. but since my final semester, i was worn out. i grew sick of studying. writing arts papers felt like a junkie going through detox. not that i actually experienced it.

when i actually began working, i loved this life. other than the restricted amount of annual leave, work life is way better than school. i can go overseas when i feel like it. i can buy a bike on impulse, though i kinda regretted it, and i can eat as much as i want to. yes, that kinda explains my size. i was saving so much, i didn't eat enough. but i digress.

i enjoy not having to take allowances and still live ok. i enjoy not having to rely on anyone. i feel that people who refuse to step out of school are missing out on a ton of things. that may also be because i found a job i enjoy. which unfortunately, i may have to leave come end this year.

see you in japan... hopefully

the mysterious tommy and gina

2009-02-28T01:00:00.002+08:00

for some time, i've been wondering who these people were and how they were related to john bongiovi or jon bon jovi. fuck americanism and commercialism.

tommy and gina appeared in two of bon jovi's tracks living on a prayer and it's my life. but interestingly, i've come to learn that the only reason why they appeared in the latter again was due to the previous song. it's kinda like writing a paper where you insert footnote when referencing another text. in this case, another song. so tommy and gina are not really real. just that it's my life referenced on how both of them fought for their love in the earlier song.

well, as for frank who "did it [his] way", that's good ol' sinatra.

the chicken-and-egg question still unsolved

2009-02-24T21:51:00.003+08:00

it has been quite some time since i first heard that the chicken-and-egg question has been unscrambled.

the premise was that genetic material cannot change during an animal's life, hence, the egg presumably laid by a prehistoric animal went through genetic mutation as an embryo. that was where the chicken first appeared. some philosopher agreed and argued that if a kangaroo lays an egg where an ostrich hatches, then it would be an ostrich egg. not a kangaroo egg.

but i'd beg to differ. i don't think it has been solved yet. obviously, when we ask if the chicken or the egg came first, we aren't really referring to the chicken or its egg exclusively. what i comprehended is whether the egg came first or the life that lays it came first.

the supposed solution to the question only begs another question. so did the egg come first or the prehistoric animal come first?

25 things nobody wants to know

2009-02-23T21:57:00.002+08:00

this came really late. at least very late since the first time this silly thing started circulating, but the fact that it still is circulating prompted me to write something about it.

of course i'm not condemning people who wrote them but some statistics on the papers some time ago produced really shocking figures. since the 25 things started, millions of junk data have been circulating the internet. the amount of consumed bandwidth is quite staggering. on top of that, the amount of time spent crafting the 25 things was estimated to have wasted over 800,000 hours of productivity time assuming each person takes 10 minutes to complete it. and that's if i didn't remember the figures wrongly.

but targetting that alone is sillier because i believe people spend a lot more time crafting their blog entries than this one-time junk on facebook. and more often than not, blogs have a lot more data than the 25 things about oneself. and more often than not, blog entries are complete passages rather than short sentences.

truth be told, i don't really read them. and truth be told, i don't think i have that many things to write about myself that people want to know. interestingly, this 25 things thing made me realise, i'm not so interesting after all.

then again, i have more than 25 entries in this blog alone. that amounts to a good amount of time wasted on practising my writing skills and satisfying this insatiable display of narcissism. and now you've wasted a good amount of time reading this.

get back to work!

windfall

2009-02-20T17:25:00.002+08:00

i'm beginning to see the idea behind the poor people don't know how to handle huge sum of money logic. because they don't know how to handle huge sum of money, that's why they are poor.

- lame -

no, that's not what i was trying to say.

the thing is, we are so used to having that little amount of money that we begin to think that it is ok to have that little because we are still surviving ok. not necessarily the comfortable life but ok. so if a large amount of money comes our way, we have the tendency to spend it all and leave ourselves with what little we originally started. because it had been ok. that explains how the guy who won the lottery spent over $300k within months.

when i was still in school, i've ever had like 25cents in my posb account. of course it didn't last long enough for me to get used to but i'm really used to having only a few hundred in my account. more often than not, i have only around $800, which i tried to limit myself to $300 because of the $2 penalty for accounts below $500. but i never manage to keep it that way. it's hard when you don't take allowances.

once during the holidays in uni, i worked for 3 months during the break and made around $2.5k. interestingly, i felt it was a comfortable level and that i could live comfortably during my uni days. i was too naive. it was gone 1 semester later. i think i am super financially illiterate.

so now, my idea of saving is to spend lesser. fortunately, i haven't really found good enough reasons for me to spend too much. except the japan trip next year. i think for the average student, what i have is enough for me to live comfortably but i still have the problem of not treating myself too well. i still scrimp.

when i see how people spend money to enjoy, i often wonder if i could do the same. if only i struck the lottery. the only problem is, i don't buy them. = =

one vietnamese bride well-done

2009-02-19T00:21:00.004+08:00

one vietnamese bride grilled, cheese on the side, no upsize.

as if buying a marriage from bride agencies aren't commodifying women enough, diners club is now seeking to create a partnership with a particular vietnamese bride agency to allow "customers" to pay by credit card on interest free installment.

the "introduction fee" is just a verbally hygienic and legally compliant term for their illicit business of human trafficking. this is crazy. stop treating them like commodities!

what you want me to say?

2009-02-16T22:13:00.002+08:00

chestnuts gave me an easier way to scold a very bad expletive.

chestnuts 2009

2009-02-14T10:30:00.004+08:00

chestnuts was a huge disappointment this year. it wasn't even half as funny as the one they did in 2008. or maybe i'm missing my funny bone. i just wasn't tickled as much as i was.

i have to admit that some of the stuff are still hilarious, like the series on mediacorp war films. that was before the interval and it was powerful. but the finale of the night was weak. and i can't emphasize "weak" enough. they just did a mundane and uninteresting alteration of avenue q's internet porn song.

i should've expected that when guang told me they did everything at the last minute. not so much the script but the actual sound recordings and effects. and i felt that they simply said "fuck" for the sake of saying it. not to forget the graphic descriptions of the genitalia and sex in every way possible.

interestingly though, the girl to my left was laughing really hard even when they weren't doing anything. talk about having one funny bone too many. maybe she stole mine. hmm...

for the english majors

2009-02-08T20:58:00.001+08:00

it's my life

2009-02-08T20:19:00.004+08:00

$203 for a new pair of blades after n years. and for the first time in x years (where x > n), i no longer hear squeaking beneath my feet while blading. so smooth... but i kinda suspect the squeakings will come soon enough after like 5 over hours of blading. i've got blisters around my legs and on my left sole. i don't intend to wash them. i mean my blades.

yes, i gave in and spent over my self-imposed budget for this month. and i just recalled i'm supposed to treat my boss to lunch tomorrow. so i may be down to $5/day for the rest of the month. unless i don't eat too expensive stuff next friday with mich. but we'll see how. i can always cut down my budget next month.

procrastination at work again...

i intend to visit taiwan with satomi at the end of this year before flying off to study in japan. hopefully my plans don't get delayed again. the amount of money to be spent makes me hesitate. the thought of losing my current job makes me think twice. but there's only this life. i just wanna live while i'm alive.

it's my life.

let's do the no-brainer thing

2009-02-07T13:39:00.002+08:00

janow i go jog to gym at hougang n den hor i go in de gym but den ah de muscle muscle guy tell me go downstair to pay first. so sianzzz. so i go downstair lor to pay. den ah i go up againz. lidat den i can use de gym lor.

i use de pull pull ting 20 min coz dey say max 20 min ma. so i use 20 min den change lor. den i use de cycle cycle ting 10 min bcoz really kenot tahan liao after jog dere. but i forget to say i reach dere hor, my head a bit painz liaoz bcoz so long no exercise liaoz. so sianzzz.

now i sit here tink tink dunno go east coast blade wif guang dey all anot. bcoz ah i kenot find my old rollerblade leh. i dun tink got throw away leh. dunno why kenot find also. n den ah i wan to give myself budget for this month ma. dowan spend so many money. so if i go buy rollerblade sure spend too much wan. i dowan.

now still dunno how. see how ba.

wow... i didn't realise it's not that easy to be typing like that. but content-wise, it's non-fiction. yes, i jogged to the gym and worked out today. i'm the biggest loser! woots~

as if i have any weight to lose.

call me hjl

2009-02-05T20:51:00.003+08:00

an artiste's life is so controlled by the commercial world. zhang ziyi became ziyi zhang when she went into hollywood. lin chiling for no plausible reason became chiling lin. that's chilling.

and the worse victim is 金城武。he was known as aniki jin back in the days when japan wasn't as exciting. and when it did become a craze, his japanese name which should've been read as kinjou takeshi became kaneshiro takeshi maybe because the kaneshiro name sounded cooler. and to mock asian names even further, they decided to flip it over into takeshi kaneshiro.

- posted by documentsburied.blogspot.com -

love in the cinema

2009-02-03T22:44:00.003+08:00

i noticed that many people who don't usually watch a lot of movies tend to watch a lot more movies when they are attached.

and i also noticed that they don't watch movies they think are nice. they watch movies that fit into their schedule. that's it.

seems to me that these people watch movies because they have nothing better to do.

because in the cinema, you don't have to talk.

and after the show, you have one new topic to talk about.

the song and your business

2009-01-24T23:07:00.002+08:00

i know it's crazy to be blogging three entries at one go but i have so much to write that it will be super messy to be writing all under one entry.

i was shopping with aaron a few hours ago at bugis street. as usual, the place was freaking crowded and carrying a guitar on my back didn't help. as we walked past each shop, i glanced around and contemplated taking my time to look at the clothes in the stores. or maybe in the stalls. but the crowd was so bad and the plethora of shops made it impossible to stop at every shop. besides, most shops were selling only ladies' wears so it didn't make sense for me to go in.

there was one shop, however, located near the exit which wasn't as crowded. but interestingly, i had no interest to step in. because of the music it was playing. it was then i realised, no matter how trendy or nice the clothes you sell are, the music can destroy it.

bugis street is a place for young people. if you play a poppish or trendy song, you cast a ahead-of-the-fashion-pack image of your shop. that particular shop near the exit was playing some old and unpopular new year-ish sounding song and it made the shop feel like it's selling some obiang clothes. even the thought of stepping in made me feel like i'll appear obiang.

unsurprisingly, the shop was empty other than the clothes and the sales person. to be honest, i didn't even bother to look at what they were selling.

so shop owners, do choose the songs you play carefully. if you don't know what song to play, then don't play. because playing the wrong song makes things worse. after all, we're there to buy clothes. not to chill out or soak in the ambience. much less to listen to the songs. besides, you're most probably playing a cd full of illegally downloaded mp3s. if your song pisses me off, i may rat on you.

humility breeds incompetence

2009-01-24T22:58:00.003+08:00

the asian culture of being humble may be capping our abilities. since young, we were taught to be humble. the parent goes, when you get praises, never agree. always say, "no la, i'm not that good".

because we say it so often, after some time, you start thinking it. and when you think it often enough, you start believing it. and when you believe it enough, you start being it.

that's not to say we should be boastful and brag about our abilities. but the law of attraction says it all. our minds shape our actions. mind over matter. think and grow rich. they all preach the same thing. what you think in your mind is what you will become.

there are many ways of showing humility. you don't have to say you are not good. you can always say you still have a lot of room for improvement or simply just thank the party who complimented you.

if all these don't work for you. you can shut your mind to it and slash ignore each time you hear a praise. after some time you no longer have to deal with it. because to others, you have become so arrogant, people no longer want to befriend you. =)

public policing

2009-01-24T22:09:00.005+08:00

i'm getting quite disturbed by singapore's #1 citizen journalism site stomp. unlike what its facade projects, it is more than just a citizen journalism site. it's sort of like a neighbourhood watch thing. a kind of public policing. on top of that, it makes me feel like a prisoner in the panopticon. someone is watching you sometime somewhere. every little thing you do. but you will never know who, when or where.

it's kind of running our lives and potentially ruining it. a picture can speak a thousand words. but no one ever reminded us that those thousand words may not necessarily be true. like the picture pulitzer prize winner, eddie adams, took of general, nguyen ngoc loan, executing a vietcong prisoner in saigon, it destroyed the general's and his family's lives. the thousand words that the picture spoke was of a cruel and merciless general indiscriminately and ruthlessly killing an innocent victim. this picture irreparably destroyed the general's honour who had to live in verbal abuse and criticism from the public.

in actual fact, general loan upheld his integrity by killing his fellow vietnamese who killed a few americans. i'd rather choose the word murder.

in spite of that, i enjoy visiting the site and i believe it is due to our sick fetish with voyeurism. like i've always said, human is a voyeuristic species. or perhaps i'm just a paranoid and insecure being constantly checking to see if i got on candid camera.

the normalcy of normal

2009-01-22T21:03:00.002+08:00

the english has a very simple idea of "normal". i do not necessarily refer to the british. however, in english, when one is normal. one is normal. the formula is simple:

normal = normal = normal

when one says "you are normal" or "you are very normal", it may not necessarily be a compliment but at the very least, it's highly unlikely to be criticism. the chinese on the other hand, makes very distinct differences between the two.

which two?

the good normal (正常) and the bad normal (普通). 你很正常 is good. 你很普通 is bad. the former referring to the normal state of mind or behaviour while the latter emphasizes the inability to stand out or to outshine. this can be seen in the individual characters of mandarin. 正 suggests a state of being correct, and 常 suggests a common state. so 正常 really tells you if you are otherwise, you are not correct. or not in the right state of mind. 普 suggests simplicity while 通 suggests a common state as well or what can be said as something that is observed throughout the sample population. so being 普通 means you are thoroughly simple.

though both can be more or less simply translated as "you are very normal".

perhaps then that the english think normalcy is neutral while the chinese think normalcy is more than just normal.

but despite having english as our first language and the medium of instruction, our education system suggests otherwise. being in the normal stream is not very normal. being in express stream is being normal. while being in the special stream is special but it is really just an express class.

the taiwanese have a simple streaming system in education. being in A stream means being in the best stream. B means the common and normal stream. while C refers to those who take a slightly longer time to absorb materials.

when our taiwanese friends heard that our streaming system calls it special, express and normal, they were laughing over it.

are you normal? no.

are you special? no.

i'm express.

privacy

2009-01-20T22:42:00.003+08:00

perhaps in singapore, the problem isn't that serious. afterall, we do not have privacy laws. at least not as comprehensive as the US judicial system. but it's odd how people create uproars over "invasion of [their] privacy" over little things others do. especially in a world soon to be taken over by commercialism.

we hurl abuse at companies selling our data to other businesses who buy our information in order to target their advertising campaign to the right people the right way. we send in complaints to the media, sign petitions, organise protests just 'cause some company google us or plant data mining spywares in our pcs to track our surfing habits, once again for commercialism. except that we don't organise protests. need to apply license leh. it's a bit like the james bond vibe.

007: license to kill.

except less like a liberated crimefighter and more like a grounded child who gets to tell your parents what you think they did wrong.

while we curse and swear at the idea of employers googling our information online, we must stop to think... and realise that we are the ones posting our personal lives online. as if having a search engine to locate us is not enough, google has allowed me and millions others to render ourselves more vulnerable by posting entries like these.

speaking of which, i realised i have a chinese book on google, which i'm too lazy to read because it's in mandarin. but if you are a potential employer who is thinking of hiring me to read some mandarin documents, i love to read mandarin.

kirino natsuo

2009-01-18T11:35:00.005+08:00

i've been a follower of kirino natsuo's novels since her first translated work out. somehow, there's an unexplainable charm that makes me want to read all her novels. perhaps it's the darkness in the story and the cover art that attracts me. and all three covers enthrall me to read them. somehow, with each translated work, the book gets thinner and thinner. not that i'm complaining.

i just bought real world recently, so i'll do a review when i'm done with it. and i'm waiting for soft cheeks. below's the cover of her previous two translated works.

dark, aren't they?

horoscope...

2009-01-13T23:09:00.004+08:00

as much as i'd hate to admit it, more often than not, i'm inclined to believe what the horoscopes say. or rather, what the astrologers say your horoscope says. it's pretty much like someone putting words in the signs' mouths except that they don't all have mouths and they can't really talk.

i do not fall under the addict category yet and no, i don't need to join a horoscope anonymous. i don't check the net everyday or buy the papers or mags just to find out what the horoscope says. it simply doesn't make sense. but gradually, i realise i'm living a self-fulfilling prophecy. at least the negative ones. i follow the not necessarily good advice at times and i rejoice at the good prophecies which never come to fruition.

after some time, the idea of freewill is lost. i'm not a christian but i trust in the concept of freewill. at times, i do believe in destiny. it's a complex issue about how it can be "at times". but disregarding the inconsistencies, destiny is what it is. it's a destination. which is probably why the importance of process is so often reiterated. yet, in the subconscious mind, something tells us it is bullshit - the destination is more important than the process. if by chance you succeed, you are successful. if after hard work you still fail, you're a failure. but the staunch believers of spirituality will beg to differ (and those who try to hard to console the failures but let's not talk about them here).

success by chance is success in material and physical form while those who learn and grow via hard work are the true winners even if you fail.

it's like when one attains nirvana, all things material will cease to be of importance. and when one is able to clear one's mind of all things material, one will attain nirvana. wow... i just made it into a chicken-and-egg problem.

oddly, some weeks ago i heard on radio about fossils proving that the egg came first.

and the chicken goes: what the fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck?

the reality of reality shows

2009-01-09T22:38:00.004+08:00

like every other voyeuristic human, i enjoy watching reality shows. at least some of them. among those that i've seen are survivor, the amazing race, american idol, temptation island, the bachelor, average joe, the biggest loser, i survived a japanese game show etc.

and i've always thought what i enjoyed are the program content itself. like in the amazing race, you get to see so many countries and the games they play in survivor, and the great vocals you hear on the american idol really upped the interest level.

i didn't enjoy i survived a japanese game show after watching the first episode. i thought the show was dumb and the games, even worse. but due to work, i had to watch the entire season of it and as i watched, i began to enjoy and got involved in it although my impression of the lame games didn't change. in spite of the many dumb games which i thought were the reasons for my disinterest, i realised that reality shows are created like that because that's the catch. the fun and interest is not so much in the games. it's how the participants interact especially when you get an evil character. it's back to fiction all over again. or maybe fiction is really based on reality.

the hypocritical characters, the alliance, the back-stabbers, the cunning players, those are really the ones who make or break the success of reality tv. the editors cut out the goody-two-shoes in some of them and choose to portray only the devil at work. at the end of it all, reality shows are really semi-reality. afterall, what we can see is what the camera chooses to show us. everything is manipulated, including the viewers' perceptions. the fact is, reality shows aren't really real.

but the sadistic part of us still enjoy the bickerings and in spite of all those manipulations, the consolation we have is that the babes participating in the shows are real.

i don't know about their boobs.

chestnuts!

2009-01-07T20:49:00.003+08:00

after 1 year, this video is finally up!

to be honest, i think chestnuts should release all their fullshow dvds.

it was damn funny, especially when you watch it live and i actually watched it twice in 2008. below is one of the funniest parts of the entire show. rihanna's umbrella in hokkien!

if you're wondering why yeo yann yann insanely stripped herself at the end of the video, it's 'cause she's playing annabelle chong who become the new papaya after small papaya died in the 881 movie. =)

i want nobody nobody but you

2009-01-04T19:55:00.001+08:00

the choreography is great!

not to forget the girls...

wishlist

2009-01-04T16:22:00.002+08:00

number 1 on my wishlist is to go on a spontaneous trip to japan this year!

ok, gotta start planning already...

how to pick a foreign language

2009-01-04T12:12:00.006+08:00

having taken so many foreign languages (none of which i am exceptionally fluent in T_T), i've come to notice a particular trend.

i've attended more asian languages than european ones and being in my current spanish class, i realised there are more ang moh pais than chinese pai. on the contrary, classes for the asian language classes i've taken are attended by almost 100% chinese. it does seem that the ang moh pais are less interested in asian languages except the more exotic ones. and this translates to an equally lower chance of the classes hanging out at ktv. because it does appear that the chinese pai have more tendency to arrange a ktv session than the ang moh pais. just look at our el clique and you'll realise this is no bull.

looking at the demographics, my spanish class has an american, his wife, 3 authentic indians, a girl who stayed in america for a year, and his guy friend both of whom can only brag about their mandarin skills to a pre-primary student. i guess i'm the best at mandarin in the class. no, actually i don't have to guess. =)

there's a reason why i chose spanish other than the fact that i think it's a beautiful language and that it is the 3rd most spoken language in the world (god i hate my linguistics knowledge sometimes), it's also 'cause having learnt 2 asian languages and 1 european language, i guess it would make more sense for me to add another european language to my arsenal. and i am not including thai and malay because, i don't think they count as languages i speak. i can barely remember anything from the lax1201 classes.

the spanish group i'm hanging out with likes spending time together at someone's place watching spanish shows. or rather, watching english shows in spanish sub. it's something we figured. for beginners, that's really the best way to pick up the language. imagine listening to something in spanish and you can't even catch what they're trying to say. most of the time, you'll probably just be reading the subs.

so if you are one who is imagining a great ktv session with your new foreign language classmates, choose an asian language. if you'd prefer the comforts of someone's home, choose a european one.

and if you're taking the above advice, you're probably not the language person...

who the fuck chooses a language based on ktv sessions!

fastidiar!

crisis (that's really how you spell planners)

2009-01-03T14:27:00.006+08:00

having faced siege by countless financial planners, i've begun moving towards what a particular friend does. he never gives his real phone number. i always gave mine. somehow, i just can't say 'no' and my ability to lie, or the lack of, is not helping. thankfully none of my friends made me smoke or take drugs.

even so, i've barely given a fake number. i've tried giving something close to my real number and just altering one of it. sometimes i have this fear that they may try calling me on-the-spot. they always pretend to say, "i'll give you a miss call so you know when i'm calling you mah!" but c'mon, i'm no fool.

sometimes, i give people my old number which my mum is using. she used to tell those who look for "jh" that i've changed number and she'll say "wrong number" to people looking for "ljh". but i've since told her to say "wrong number" to whomever calls her because i've notified everyone of the number change already and if they don't bother to update, then don't bother looking for me.

through the years of meeting the new age of insurance agents, i might've written myself into the blacklist of the financial planning industry because some people are just looking for it. so i give it to them. there are those who are so pesky, they insist i sit down when i insist i simply have no interest and that i've heard of their plans for the nth time already. but they like to play the smart aleck and test me on what i know, whom i've heard it from and the likes. with these people, i always end up sitting down with them and the more i sit down with them, the more i start to play the offensive game. these games also made me realise that many of whom are not very financially literate either. they just recite what they were taught. and also...

they are not interested in helping your finances.

what they are interested in is to close more deals to up their own commissions, win awards, get promotions, and reap higher commissions. in a nutshell, financial planners are really just planning for their own finances. most importantly, with the influx of youths obssessed with being self-employed, many don't know their stuff well enough to help you.

a very memorable financial planner from a very prudent company once made me this offer: save $70 more a month and get a samsonite bag worth $300 free!

and as if to transfer the excitement by osmosis, she said excitedly, "you see, $70 only and you get $300 worth of bag. worth it right?"

i asked to borrow her oversized calculator and she proudly handed it to me. i double checked while keying the figures in, "$70/mth right?" she said assuredly, "ya!" so i keyed:

$70 x 12 months x 25 years = $21000

i was like, "wah! $21000 for a $300 bag."

the next day i went past the same location again, her colleague behaved the same way she did the day before.

"hi! can i talk to you for 5 mins?"

"er... yesterday your colleague talked to me already"

"is it? ok, which one?" she said smugly, 101% certain i was lying.

just then, my victim from the previous day came up and told her, "no, no" and i was like, "there, this one." and i left...

i understand their persistence but many a times, it feels more like they are challenging the wits of their target more than trying to clinch the deal. interestingly, both times i was in my army no. 4 uniform and i very obviously tried to avoid them but as if by magic, they always manage to phase through the crowd and appear in front of me before i can travel 30cm.

there's a reason why women should go ns. their phasing skills are a few levels higher than the men.

i suspect the reason they like targetting ns males is cause of their age and their circumstances. at that age, their hormones are usually hyperactive and being in an environment where the males outnumber females by 100,000:1, they are quite predictably more horny and thus, will sit down and listen to the rare female breed on the streets.

i have to admit, males in ns are horny. but the truth is, we are not indiscriminately horny. so don't take us for animals...

the shrinking breasts

2009-01-02T20:34:00.003+08:00

my breasts are shrinking~

not that they were huge in the first place but hey! small breasts have the right to shrink k... oh wells, i haven't been working out for some time already and being down with sickness this past week gave me even more excuses not to work out. the cycle begins.

they always say "you have to decide to do it!" whatever "it" is. it can be working out, saving money, making your bed, practising your musical instruments etc. i don't know who "they" refers to but all i know is, making the decision is not enough. i know that much because i have made the decision to work out countless times and they never last.

the first thing to do is to do! deciding is not enough! the second and crucial thing is to hang on. so before you make that mundane list of meaningless resolutions for the new year, make sure you will do what you are going to list and most importantly, make sure you hang on.

don't come crying when your breasts start shrinking.